Fighting for Your Health | Better Together | TBN

Fighting for Your Health | Better Together

Watch Fighting for Your Health | Better Together
October 24, 2019
27:47

What happens when people of faith get sick? Do God's promises hold true in the midst of physical and mental health crises? | TBN Prayer Line: 1-888-731-1000

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Fighting for Your Health | Better Together

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  • - Jesus healed the sick.
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  • Where does faith fit in when you're fighting
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  • for your health, mind, soul, and body?
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  • Let's talk about it.
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  • (uplifting music)
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  • - I will never forget the day when,
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  • really, everything I dreaded all my life happened.
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  • really, everything I dreaded all my life happened.
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  • Knowing that my dad had taken his own life
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  • in a psych hospital,
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  • I had this horror of any kind of mental illness.
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  • I lost my best friend when I was 16
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  • because her dad ended up in a mental hospital
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  • and she wanted me to go visit and I wouldn't go with her
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  • and I couldn't tell her why, and she never forgave me.
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  • What she didn't know was my dad escaped from that hospital
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  • and drowned himself in the river.
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  • And so I grew up with this dread
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  • that whatever was in my dad was in me.
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  • And sometimes when I was growing up
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  • people would say to me, Sheila, you're just like your dad.
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  • And I think what they meant was,
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  • you sing like your dad and you tell the same
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  • extremely horrible jokes like your dad.
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  • But what I heard was there's something in you
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  • that's like your father.
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  • I will never forget the day when I was co-hosting
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  • the 700 Club, I was interviewing a guest,
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  • and instead of answering my first question
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  • she turned the tables on me and she said,
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  • you sit here everyday asking us how we're doing.
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  • How are you doing?
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  • And I wasn't expecting it
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  • and there was such kindness in her eyes.
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  • And I had lived so many years
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  • with this wall around my heart.
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  • There's something wrong with me.
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  • There's something bad in me.
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  • And just the look of kindness in her eyes
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  • was like she took the first brick out of the wall
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  • and I fell apart.
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  • And by that evening, I was in the locked ward
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  • of the psychiatric hospital
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  • and I was the same age as my dad.
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  • And I remember Pat Robertson, who was so kind,
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  • he was like a dad to me, still is,
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  • he wanted one of the security guards
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  • to drive me to the hospital and I said, absolutely not.
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  • I couldn't bear the thought of somebody
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  • watching me walk through those doors
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  • that would lock behind me and the shame.
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  • It wasn't Pat but one of our vice presidents
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  • before I left he walked me round and round the lake
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  • of the 700 Club and he said, don't do this.
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  • The enemy is using you to try to destroy this ministry.
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  • Pat's a godly man, surrounded by all these godly men,
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  • you're the weak link in the chain.
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  • If people find out you've been in a mental hospital
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  • no one will ever trust you again.
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  • And I said to him, I'm not trying to save my ministry,
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  • I'm trying to save my life.
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  • But I remember sitting in my car in the parking lot
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  • when I got to the hospital
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  • with my head on the steering wheel and just sobbing
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  • and saying, Lord, how did I get here?
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  • How can you spend your whole life
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  • trying to get everything right
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  • and end up in a place where everything is wrong?
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  • But until the day I see Jesus face to face,
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  • I will consider that one of God's greatest gifts to me,
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  • that he allowed everything in my life to fall apart
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  • so that literally on the floor in my little room,
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  • I was there for a month,
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  • diagnosed with severe clinical depression,
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  • I discovered how loved I was
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  • based on nothing I did right and nothing I did wrong.
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  • Simply because, I wrote in the back of my Bible,
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  • I never knew you lived so close to the floor.
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  • (women awing)
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  • So used to worshiping God in his majesty,
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  • as we should, because there's no one like him.
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  • But I just want anybody to know,
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  • when you are broken hearted, that's what Psalm 34 says,
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  • the Lord is close to the brokenhearted
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  • and saves those who are crushed in spirit.
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  • And through this whole journey
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  • with being diagnosed with a mental illness,
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  • and I take medication,
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  • I've discovered the redemptive nature of our savior.
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  • Here's what I love.
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  • If you take the word depression
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  • and you rearrange the letter,
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  • what you get is I pressed on.
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  • - I love that. - That's what I do everyday.
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  • - I'm gonna take that. - It's yours.
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  • - But it's like, that's what you do.
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  • Am I fixed? No.
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  • But I'm redeemed,
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  • and now you can see the way that we all have a story,
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  • we've all been through different things.
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  • But to be able to stand on platforms
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  • and talk about this, and for people to say,
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  • me too, I've never heard anybody tell my story out loud
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  • and not physically combust on stage,
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  • I think it's a conversation that the church,
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  • we need to have increasingly. - We need to have.
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  • - So many pastors committing suicide.
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  • Why is that happening?
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  • So many people struggling alone in the darkness
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  • because they think, this is the one thing
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  • we can't talk about.
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  • You have a brain tumor?
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  • I'll be there with a prayer meeting in two minutes.
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  • You have a mental illness?
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  • You need to pray more.
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  • You need to read the word of God.
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  • And yeah, we do need to do those,
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  • but you don't say to somebody, a child who fell off a swing
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  • and broke his leg, get up and walk.
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  • You say, let's get you some help.
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  • And that's what happened to me, I got some help,
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  • and now I can help others.
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  • - I just wanna apologize.
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  • If you have been made to feel shame
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  • or wronged by the church, I'm really sorry.
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  • As a pastor, if you will allow me to just
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  • stand in the place of maybe those that treated you wrong,
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  • trying to use Jesus' name and yet treating your wrong,
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  • can I just say I'm sorry, and on their behalf,
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  • and can you just forgive me, forgiving them.
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  • So I'm really sorry, I'm really sorry if you were
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  • treated badly and I know that that's happened,
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  • and I'm sorry.
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  • I just think that as the church, we should recognize
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  • where people are struggling and offer help
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  • and solution rather than beating up our wounded.
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  • - We're so quick at praying everything away.
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  • Everything in the earth, God has created for our good.
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  • So if there's a doctor for our mind,
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  • then why not go to that doctor
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  • and get our mind renewed and fixed.
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  • It's like, we need help in our soul.
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  • It's sad, the pressure that we have taken on
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  • to try to fix ourselves, opposed to going
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  • to get somebody to talk to so they can help fix us.
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  • Like you said, we'll go to the doctor for everything else.
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  • We get a cut, we get a break,
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  • we are quick to run to the doctor, but it's not.
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  • We just had a young guy in our ministry,
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  • 16 years old, talking to his mom on the phone,
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  • was telling her he was about to kill himself
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  • and she was begging him, please don't do that,
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  • I'm on my way.
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  • Well he heard the garage door open and it was his stepdad.
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  • He heard the garage door open.
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  • Before he could get downstairs to get to the son,
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  • he had put a bullet in his head.
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  • It's like, why?
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  • Why not take somebody to get help?
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  • There are signs that we can see and notice,
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  • that we can help somebody out,
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  • but if we're so prideful and so ashamed of that.
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  • There's a stigma that's out
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  • that says that if you go and get help, you're crazy.
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  • That you're psychotic, and that's not necessarily the case.
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  • It means that you just need to sit down
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  • and talk to somebody, and you may need some medicine,
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  • and it's okay.
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  • We take medicine for everything else, why not?
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  • - But it is this big debate between faith and medicine,
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  • because somebody asked me one day,
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  • well don't you believe that God can heal you?
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  • And I said, absolutely I do,
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  • and I ask God for that everyday.
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  • And give me your number, you'll be the first one I call
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  • if he does.
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  • - But just like somebody has glasses.
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  • I believe God can heal my eyes.
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  • But I believe he can heal them
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  • when I'm wearing my glasses too.
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  • So does he need me to take them off?
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  • That's where I think we cross this weird line.
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  • The faith in medicine, like just,
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  • God can do what he's gonna do in spite of us.
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  • What we do, what we say, he's gonna move anyway.
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  • - He's still the healer, regardless of what
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  • I put in my mouth, what I put on my eye,
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  • what I put on my leg, is a brace, I still have to trust him
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  • for the manifestation of the healing.
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  • So while I'm taking a pill I'm gonna say,
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  • God I thank you that by your stripes, I'm healed.
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  • We still have to take the word and deposit it
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  • just like we would take a pill.
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  • You know, your decision to go and get help
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  • does not change who God is.
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  • I believe everything in the earth,
  • 00:08:48.130 --> 00:08:50.120
  • and not just me believing, but the Bible says
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  • that everything was created by him,
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  • but everything here in the earth was put here
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  • for our purposes, and so if we need help,
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  • it does not take away who God is in our lives.
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  • It's like, if you need glasses, do you wear them?
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  • Yes you do.
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  • So what's wrong with going to get help for your soul,
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  • for your mind, to be able to know
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  • and navigate through life exactly how you're supposed
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  • to navigate through life.
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  • It's okay to go and get help.
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  • It doesn't diminish you or your relationship with the Word.
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  • You still need to apply faith
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  • through everything you go through.
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  • The just shall live by faith.
  • 00:09:29.230 --> 00:09:33.030
  • - And I think there's a lot of misunderstanding
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  • when it comes to any kind of mental illness
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  • because I remember my first meeting,
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  • the first morning with the psychiatrist,
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  • and he talked about wanting to put me on medication
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  • and I was like, absolutely not.
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  • I don't want any of your happy pills.
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  • And he said, no, those are the ones you get on the street.
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  • We don't have those.
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  • (laughing)
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  • And he explained, he said you know,
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  • I had to go through all sorts of tests,
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  • blood test, he said your brain is not producing
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  • enough of a chemical called serotonin,
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  • and so what we are giving is to help,
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  • it's not gonna make you go around talking
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  • to some imaginary dog,
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  • it's gonna restore your chemical levels in your brain
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  • so that you're able to then to deal with
  • 00:10:07.290 --> 00:10:10.060
  • what's going on in your life.
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  • 'Cause what I discovered was,
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  • that was just the tip of the iceberg.
  • 00:10:12.190 --> 00:10:14.110
  • I had so many things I had to deal with.
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  • I had to deal with the fact that I thought
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  • God's love for me was based on my performance.
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  • I was scared to get too close to anybody
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  • in case they saw whatever I thought my father saw in me.
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  • So it just gave me the stability and the energy
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  • and the strength to be able then to do the hard work,
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  • 'cause I don't believe you just pop a pill and you're well.
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  • I have to take care of my body,
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  • I have to take care of what I eat,
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  • I have to stay in community.
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  • I think that one of the reasons there's so much
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  • depression and anxiety is people think
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  • they're connected throughs social media.
  • 00:10:46.020 --> 00:10:49.050
  • - You're not connected. - That is not connecting.
  • 00:10:49.050 --> 00:10:51.130
  • That's not community.
  • 00:10:51.130 --> 00:10:53.060
  • - They don't even know you. - I know.
  • 00:10:53.060 --> 00:10:55.130
  • And I think that's why there's such loneliness, too,
  • 00:10:55.130 --> 00:10:58.110
  • and a lot of lonely people in the church
  • 00:10:58.110 --> 00:11:00.130
  • because they don't know how to reach out
  • 00:11:00.130 --> 00:11:03.130
  • and actually make real relationships where you're known.
  • 00:11:03.130 --> 00:11:07.150
  • The other thing that I remember the doctor said,
  • 00:11:08.270 --> 00:11:10.070
  • the first morning he said, who are you?
  • 00:11:10.070 --> 00:11:11.240
  • And I thought, I bet this is a trick question.
  • 00:11:11.240 --> 00:11:14.110
  • 'Cause I can see my name on his papers
  • 00:11:14.110 --> 00:11:16.060
  • and I said, Sheila Walsh.
  • 00:11:16.060 --> 00:11:17.190
  • And he said, no, no Sheila, I know your name.
  • 00:11:17.190 --> 00:11:18.150
  • Who are you?
  • 00:11:18.150 --> 00:11:19.290
  • And I said, I'm the cohost of the 700 Club.
  • 00:11:19.290 --> 00:11:23.040
  • And he said, no, I didn't ask your job title, who are you?
  • 00:11:23.040 --> 00:11:26.070
  • And I said, I have no idea.
  • 00:11:26.070 --> 00:11:28.030
  • And he said, I know that and that's why you're here.
  • 00:11:28.030 --> 00:11:30.010
  • And when I left after a month,
  • 00:11:30.010 --> 00:11:31.250
  • and I was walking across the parking lot
  • 00:11:31.250 --> 00:11:33.150
  • and he called out of his window,
  • 00:11:33.150 --> 00:11:34.140
  • he said, Sheila, who are you?
  • 00:11:34.140 --> 00:11:35.280
  • I said, I'm Sheila Walsh, daughter of the king of kings.
  • 00:11:35.280 --> 00:11:38.210
  • That's who you are.
  • 00:11:39.250 --> 00:11:41.040
  • That's your true identity.
  • 00:11:41.040 --> 00:11:42.280
  • Everything else can be gone in a moment,
  • 00:11:42.280 --> 00:11:45.200
  • but what can never change is who you are as his daughter,
  • 00:11:45.200 --> 00:11:50.100
  • and I wear that, whether I,
  • 00:11:50.100 --> 00:11:52.080
  • I remember thinking, Lord, if I never stand
  • 00:11:52.080 --> 00:11:54.040
  • on another platform, if I never write another book,
  • 00:11:54.040 --> 00:11:56.280
  • if I never do anything, I will always know who I am.
  • 00:11:56.280 --> 00:12:01.110
  • I am your daughter.
  • 00:12:01.110 --> 00:12:02.150
  • - We want you to join the conversation.
  • 00:12:04.000 --> 00:12:06.080
  • - So connect with us on social media
  • 00:12:06.080 --> 00:12:07.270
  • and let's get better together.
  • 00:12:07.270 --> 00:12:09.120
  • - The labels we wear.
  • 00:12:14.190 --> 00:12:16.050
  • I'm fat, I'm divorced, I'm a single mom, or whatever.
  • 00:12:16.050 --> 00:12:19.100
  • That's not who any of us are. - That's right.
  • 00:12:19.100 --> 00:12:22.010
  • - Our eternal identity is that I am a daughter
  • 00:12:22.010 --> 00:12:25.050
  • of the king of kings,
  • 00:12:25.050 --> 00:12:26.190
  • and understanding that shifted everything for me.
  • 00:12:26.190 --> 00:12:30.080
  • - We don't always know who we are.
  • 00:12:30.080 --> 00:12:32.100
  • We associate who we are with what we do,
  • 00:12:32.100 --> 00:12:36.000
  • and that's not who we are.
  • 00:12:36.000 --> 00:12:37.270
  • - So easy to do that though. - It's so easy to do that.
  • 00:12:37.270 --> 00:12:40.150
  • Then when that is gone, what do you do?
  • 00:12:40.150 --> 00:12:44.090
  • And that's why you have so many people
  • 00:12:44.090 --> 00:12:45.270
  • when they lose their money, lose their jobs
  • 00:12:45.270 --> 00:12:48.140
  • and lose everything that they own,
  • 00:12:48.140 --> 00:12:51.010
  • they commit suicide, they're jumping out of windows
  • 00:12:51.010 --> 00:12:53.100
  • and killing their families and everything
  • 00:12:53.100 --> 00:12:55.070
  • because they have built their identity
  • 00:12:55.070 --> 00:12:58.160
  • in what they have and what they do,
  • 00:12:58.160 --> 00:13:00.290
  • oppose to who they really are.
  • 00:13:00.290 --> 00:13:03.140
  • - So many of us make the mistake of
  • 00:13:03.140 --> 00:13:06.020
  • seeing ourselves entirely either by what we do
  • 00:13:06.020 --> 00:13:10.050
  • or by what we look like.
  • 00:13:10.050 --> 00:13:12.030
  • We define our identity by the gifts that we're given,
  • 00:13:12.030 --> 00:13:16.270
  • the ethnicity we have, any of that.
  • 00:13:16.270 --> 00:13:19.210
  • But I'm none of that.
  • 00:13:19.210 --> 00:13:20.190
  • I am a daughter of the king.
  • 00:13:20.190 --> 00:13:22.110
  • That is before I was a wife, before I was a mother,
  • 00:13:22.110 --> 00:13:25.070
  • daughter of the king, called and purposed.
  • 00:13:25.070 --> 00:13:27.280
  • And nobody can take that away.
  • 00:13:27.280 --> 00:13:30.030
  • My job, I teach and I'm a pastor
  • 00:13:30.030 --> 00:13:33.000
  • but what if I couldn't do that?
  • 00:13:33.000 --> 00:13:35.000
  • Does that mean I'm now less than?
  • 00:13:35.000 --> 00:13:36.080
  • No, 'cause I'm a daughter of the king.
  • 00:13:36.080 --> 00:13:38.260
  • That's who I am.
  • 00:13:38.260 --> 00:13:40.100
  • So I think we each have to settle that
  • 00:13:40.100 --> 00:13:42.060
  • in our own heart, regardless of whatever career we have
  • 00:13:42.060 --> 00:13:45.170
  • or gifts that we've been entrusted with.
  • 00:13:45.170 --> 00:13:48.070
  • First and foremost, a daughter of the king,
  • 00:13:48.070 --> 00:13:50.150
  • loved beyond measure, period.
  • 00:13:50.150 --> 00:13:53.080
  • - I said, I'm profoundly grateful
  • 00:13:53.080 --> 00:13:55.130
  • for the gift of mental illness
  • 00:13:55.130 --> 00:13:57.040
  • because I can look into the eyes
  • 00:13:57.040 --> 00:13:58.180
  • of somebody else who's struggling and say, me too.
  • 00:13:58.180 --> 00:14:00.210
  • You are not alone, and because of Christ,
  • 00:14:00.210 --> 00:14:03.220
  • even in the midst of it, we are victorious.
  • 00:14:03.220 --> 00:14:06.280
  • I cannot tell you the way the enemy
  • 00:14:08.040 --> 00:14:09.210
  • has tried to use that in my own life.
  • 00:14:09.210 --> 00:14:11.180
  • Times when you're going through a rough time
  • 00:14:12.270 --> 00:14:14.220
  • or bad spell and saying, you'll never make it.
  • 00:14:14.220 --> 00:14:17.230
  • You're just like your dad.
  • 00:14:17.230 --> 00:14:19.010
  • You don't have to do this anymore,
  • 00:14:19.010 --> 00:14:20.290
  • and that's where I, the word of God is salvation.
  • 00:14:20.290 --> 00:14:25.250
  • That's where I take Scripture.
  • 00:14:25.250 --> 00:14:27.250
  • In fact, let me read you, this is just, I love this.
  • 00:14:27.250 --> 00:14:30.220
  • This is one of my favorites.
  • 00:14:30.220 --> 00:14:32.070
  • In fact, this is what I held onto in the hospital
  • 00:14:32.070 --> 00:14:35.010
  • when I was at my darkest and my most,
  • 00:14:35.010 --> 00:14:36.290
  • I've never been so lonely in my life.
  • 00:14:36.290 --> 00:14:39.030
  • But I would read this, and David said this
  • 00:14:40.100 --> 00:14:42.210
  • at the end of Psalm 27, yet I am confident
  • 00:14:42.210 --> 00:14:46.240
  • I will see the Lord's goodness while I am here
  • 00:14:46.240 --> 00:14:50.140
  • in the land of the living.
  • 00:14:50.140 --> 00:14:51.220
  • And I would stand on that and I would say,
  • 00:14:51.220 --> 00:14:54.020
  • you know what enemy, just get out of here.
  • 00:14:54.020 --> 00:14:56.210
  • I'm gonna see the Lord's goodness here,
  • 00:14:56.210 --> 00:14:59.030
  • in the land of the living.
  • 00:14:59.030 --> 00:15:00.130
  • When I get home, I'll see Jesus face to face
  • 00:15:00.130 --> 00:15:02.220
  • and I will worship, but right here,
  • 00:15:02.220 --> 00:15:05.000
  • in this place, I'm gonna see the goodness of the Lord.
  • 00:15:05.000 --> 00:15:08.280
  • - That Scripture, that's the one I said
  • 00:15:08.280 --> 00:15:11.200
  • over and over as I was getting radiation.
  • 00:15:11.200 --> 00:15:14.060
  • I'm gonna see God's goodness here.
  • 00:15:14.060 --> 00:15:16.160
  • And when I doesn't look like his goodness is anywhere
  • 00:15:16.160 --> 00:15:18.090
  • and it doesn't make sense.
  • 00:15:18.090 --> 00:15:20.110
  • And I wanna be anywhere, but see God's goodness here.
  • 00:15:20.110 --> 00:15:23.010
  • - It's important that we allow God's word
  • 00:15:24.150 --> 00:15:26.230
  • to be foundational in our lives regularly
  • 00:15:26.230 --> 00:15:29.270
  • because it does speak life into us.
  • 00:15:29.270 --> 00:15:32.100
  • The lies of the enemy, it will become a stamp in our hearts
  • 00:15:33.230 --> 00:15:38.210
  • and in our minds if we don't reject them.
  • 00:15:39.270 --> 00:15:42.050
  • I love reading the book of Psalms because David always,
  • 00:15:42.050 --> 00:15:45.000
  • he's honest, and one of the ways in which we can do the same
  • 00:15:46.120 --> 00:15:49.270
  • is by talking to God the way he used to.
  • 00:15:49.270 --> 00:15:52.100
  • At the beginning of some of these Psalms
  • 00:15:52.100 --> 00:15:53.270
  • he's angry and he's overwhelmed and he's frustrated
  • 00:15:53.270 --> 00:15:56.270
  • and he's full of fear, but by the end
  • 00:15:56.270 --> 00:15:58.220
  • he's declaring God's goodness and faithfulness.
  • 00:15:58.220 --> 00:16:01.120
  • One of the ways that we can reject some of the thoughts
  • 00:16:01.120 --> 00:16:03.180
  • is by talking to God about how we feel
  • 00:16:03.180 --> 00:16:06.050
  • and seeing how our conversation with God changes
  • 00:16:06.050 --> 00:16:08.120
  • as we invite his presence to invade our space.
  • 00:16:08.120 --> 00:16:11.200
  • We begin to remember God's goodness,
  • 00:16:11.200 --> 00:16:13.060
  • his faithfulness, his power,
  • 00:16:13.060 --> 00:16:14.170
  • he's been good before, he's good again.
  • 00:16:14.170 --> 00:16:16.270
  • - That is what God is looking for,
  • 00:16:16.270 --> 00:16:19.150
  • I believe, on this earth, is that in those moments, man,
  • 00:16:19.150 --> 00:16:23.210
  • there is nothing else except this.
  • 00:16:23.210 --> 00:16:26.210
  • And to declare this in that time,
  • 00:16:26.210 --> 00:16:29.010
  • talk about an incentive to bless your life,
  • 00:16:31.050 --> 00:16:34.000
  • to see you through,
  • 00:16:34.000 --> 00:16:35.140
  • to make sure that you come out on the other side.
  • 00:16:35.140 --> 00:16:38.120
  • Just think of the incentive that gives God
  • 00:16:38.120 --> 00:16:41.230
  • to bless our life.
  • 00:16:41.230 --> 00:16:43.070
  • You stand up and declare who,
  • 00:16:43.070 --> 00:16:44.270
  • he says, I told you I was this.
  • 00:16:44.270 --> 00:16:47.080
  • Now I'm giving you the perfect opportunity.
  • 00:16:47.080 --> 00:16:49.240
  • Every event holds the potential for purpose and destiny,
  • 00:16:49.240 --> 00:16:52.270
  • in those moments when you declare who he is.
  • 00:16:52.270 --> 00:16:55.060
  • That is what rocks. - Every night in the hospital
  • 00:16:56.260 --> 00:16:59.120
  • I slept on the word of God.
  • 00:16:59.120 --> 00:17:01.260
  • Every night it was like, Lord, I don't know
  • 00:17:01.260 --> 00:17:03.230
  • what's going on in my head, but this is life
  • 00:17:03.230 --> 00:17:06.040
  • and this is truth, and I'm resting my head on this tonight.
  • 00:17:06.040 --> 00:17:10.160
  • - I am not going to shrink back in my faith.
  • 00:17:10.160 --> 00:17:13.270
  • Jesus died so that we can be healed.
  • 00:17:15.030 --> 00:17:17.270
  • And I am going to believe that til the day I die.
  • 00:17:17.270 --> 00:17:21.010
  • And I'm going to stand in faith
  • 00:17:21.010 --> 00:17:23.180
  • believing that he is the great healer.
  • 00:17:23.180 --> 00:17:26.210
  • He is the great physician.
  • 00:17:26.210 --> 00:17:28.240
  • He is all I need.
  • 00:17:28.240 --> 00:17:30.230
  • He is my supply for everything good in my life.
  • 00:17:30.230 --> 00:17:34.240
  • And those are the times when you just stand,
  • 00:17:34.240 --> 00:17:38.230
  • you grit your teeth,
  • 00:17:38.230 --> 00:17:40.170
  • and you believe well and you believe hard,
  • 00:17:40.170 --> 00:17:43.070
  • and we all have to do it,
  • 00:17:43.070 --> 00:17:45.130
  • because not just everything just happens
  • 00:17:45.130 --> 00:17:48.160
  • the way we want all the time.
  • 00:17:48.160 --> 00:17:50.060
  • But I'm telling you, God has a plan
  • 00:17:50.060 --> 00:17:53.000
  • and he is going to bring it forth inside of us,
  • 00:17:53.000 --> 00:17:56.120
  • through us, and to us, because today's the greatest day
  • 00:17:56.120 --> 00:17:59.210
  • of your life whether it looks like it or not.
  • 00:17:59.210 --> 00:18:01.270
  • It's gonna get good for you in Jesus' name.
  • 00:18:01.270 --> 00:18:05.110
  • - Let me just ask you a question.
  • 00:18:05.110 --> 00:18:07.000
  • I'm the happy, obnoxiously happy person--
  • 00:18:09.160 --> 00:18:14.160
  • - We love that about you.
  • 00:18:15.120 --> 00:18:16.180
  • - But there are people who, like me,
  • 00:18:16.180 --> 00:18:18.210
  • don't understand probably the depths of depression
  • 00:18:18.210 --> 00:18:22.170
  • and there are people close in my life who struggle
  • 00:18:22.170 --> 00:18:26.040
  • and deal with it, are on medication
  • 00:18:26.040 --> 00:18:27.280
  • and they're working it out,
  • 00:18:27.280 --> 00:18:29.150
  • and so what can you tell people like me?
  • 00:18:29.150 --> 00:18:32.040
  • How could I be help and not annoying?
  • 00:18:33.090 --> 00:18:35.160
  • - Or empathetic? - Yeah,
  • 00:18:35.160 --> 00:18:37.100
  • how would you feel empathy from me?
  • 00:18:38.150 --> 00:18:41.140
  • Help me.
  • 00:18:41.140 --> 00:18:42.220
  • If you really knew me, you would know
  • 00:18:42.220 --> 00:18:45.230
  • that I can be impatient.
  • 00:18:45.230 --> 00:18:49.180
  • There's a few people in my world
  • 00:18:51.230 --> 00:18:53.270
  • who struggle with depression.
  • 00:18:53.270 --> 00:18:56.110
  • That's been really hard for me
  • 00:19:00.080 --> 00:19:01.210
  • because at first I just didn't get it, I didn't get it.
  • 00:19:01.210 --> 00:19:04.250
  • 'Cause you can't see it
  • 00:19:09.140 --> 00:19:10.220
  • and it's so far from my reality,
  • 00:19:11.260 --> 00:19:16.260
  • so I just didn't get it.
  • 00:19:18.180 --> 00:19:19.240
  • Then I was getting frustrated.
  • 00:19:20.260 --> 00:19:22.240
  • I don't think I actually ever said, snap out of it,
  • 00:19:24.070 --> 00:19:26.100
  • but I had no sympathy, I had no compassion for
  • 00:19:26.100 --> 00:19:31.100
  • the weight that these people were carrying.
  • 00:19:33.000 --> 00:19:37.290
  • And so I think I was really impatient with
  • 00:19:37.290 --> 00:19:40.050
  • needing them to get better quicker,
  • 00:19:42.170 --> 00:19:44.100
  • which was just selfish,
  • 00:19:45.180 --> 00:19:47.050
  • just like, I need my world to be better
  • 00:19:47.050 --> 00:19:49.010
  • so I need you to get over this.
  • 00:19:49.010 --> 00:19:51.180
  • I just think God exposed that quality in me.
  • 00:19:51.180 --> 00:19:56.180
  • For me, I've had to really slow down with people,
  • 00:20:00.060 --> 00:20:04.110
  • these two in particular,
  • 00:20:04.110 --> 00:20:07.040
  • and allow them to be who they are.
  • 00:20:07.040 --> 00:20:10.220
  • It's been a journey, I feel like, for me.
  • 00:20:16.180 --> 00:20:19.060
  • It's revealed my own selfishness and impatience with people.
  • 00:20:19.060 --> 00:20:24.060
  • I don't wanna be that,
  • 00:20:26.180 --> 00:20:28.030
  • so I'm doing the work of just trying to understand
  • 00:20:28.030 --> 00:20:31.240
  • and have compassion, 'cause I would want that for me.
  • 00:20:31.240 --> 00:20:36.150
  • - That's actually great Holly
  • 00:20:37.130 --> 00:20:38.230
  • because depression is something,
  • 00:20:38.230 --> 00:20:40.210
  • it doesn't just affect the one person, it affects the family
  • 00:20:40.210 --> 00:20:43.160
  • and the friends and the whole extended circle,
  • 00:20:43.160 --> 00:20:46.070
  • and for people who've never experienced it,
  • 00:20:46.070 --> 00:20:48.130
  • it's like, come on.
  • 00:20:48.130 --> 00:20:49.250
  • You have, let's go-- - Well get over it.
  • 00:20:51.020 --> 00:20:52.170
  • - You can state the obvious like,
  • 00:20:53.230 --> 00:20:55.070
  • you have a great husband, you have great kids,
  • 00:20:55.070 --> 00:20:56.130
  • things are good.
  • 00:20:56.130 --> 00:20:57.190
  • And that doesn't shift what's going on.
  • 00:20:57.190 --> 00:21:00.030
  • It feels like as if somebody
  • 00:21:00.030 --> 00:21:01.270
  • has soaked the heaviest blanket in the ocean
  • 00:21:01.270 --> 00:21:05.010
  • and draped it around your soul.
  • 00:21:05.010 --> 00:21:06.260
  • It's like your soul has turned to lead,
  • 00:21:08.020 --> 00:21:10.110
  • you're just weighted down.
  • 00:21:10.110 --> 00:21:12.110
  • And there's nothing worse than when people want to say,
  • 00:21:12.110 --> 00:21:15.280
  • 'cause I think when the pain is the freshest,
  • 00:21:15.280 --> 00:21:17.230
  • the words should be the fewest.
  • 00:21:17.230 --> 00:21:20.030
  • - Oh that's good.
  • 00:21:20.030 --> 00:21:21.220
  • I'll shut up then.
  • 00:21:21.220 --> 00:21:22.190
  • No, 'cause that's good to know.
  • 00:21:24.000 --> 00:21:25.080
  • I like that. - It's good to know.
  • 00:21:25.080 --> 00:21:27.020
  • - Let me give you an example.
  • 00:21:27.020 --> 00:21:28.100
  • One of my dearest friends has buried
  • 00:21:28.100 --> 00:21:29.160
  • not just one but two babies.
  • 00:21:29.160 --> 00:21:32.150
  • One lived to a year and two months,
  • 00:21:32.150 --> 00:21:35.010
  • one lived to nine months.
  • 00:21:35.010 --> 00:21:36.200
  • And when the second baby died,
  • 00:21:36.200 --> 00:21:38.060
  • our little group took turns,
  • 00:21:38.060 --> 00:21:39.190
  • you know we would go around and do the laundry,
  • 00:21:39.190 --> 00:21:41.020
  • do cooking, take meals and everything,
  • 00:21:41.020 --> 00:21:42.180
  • and it was my turn one night.
  • 00:21:42.180 --> 00:21:44.030
  • And I went round and I asked where my friend was
  • 00:21:44.030 --> 00:21:46.010
  • and her husband said, she's upstairs in the baby's room.
  • 00:21:46.010 --> 00:21:49.060
  • And I went upstairs and she was holding
  • 00:21:49.060 --> 00:21:51.190
  • this little pair of baby shoes.
  • 00:21:51.190 --> 00:21:53.240
  • And I just sat on the floor and for an hour,
  • 00:21:53.240 --> 00:21:57.040
  • more than an hour, we didn't say a word.
  • 00:21:57.040 --> 00:21:59.030
  • We sat and we wept together,
  • 00:21:59.030 --> 00:22:00.270
  • because what can you say?
  • 00:22:00.270 --> 00:22:02.180
  • When somebody's in extreme pain, there are no words.
  • 00:22:02.180 --> 00:22:05.200
  • She doesn't want to know right now
  • 00:22:05.200 --> 00:22:07.030
  • that God will bring all things good
  • 00:22:07.030 --> 00:22:09.030
  • for those who love him.
  • 00:22:09.030 --> 00:22:10.140
  • She knows in her soul that is the truth.
  • 00:22:10.140 --> 00:22:12.280
  • Right now she's sitting in her pain.
  • 00:22:12.280 --> 00:22:15.040
  • And I've discovered the gift of presence,
  • 00:22:15.040 --> 00:22:17.210
  • just the gift of your presence.
  • 00:22:17.210 --> 00:22:19.210
  • - Oh that's good. - Is such a beautiful gift.
  • 00:22:19.210 --> 00:22:21.090
  • - A little over five years ago
  • 00:22:23.010 --> 00:22:24.160
  • we had multiple friends within a span of two months
  • 00:22:25.280 --> 00:22:28.230
  • lose children, and we lost people
  • 00:22:29.270 --> 00:22:34.010
  • from our team to cancer.
  • 00:22:34.010 --> 00:22:36.100
  • There was five deaths within a short period of time
  • 00:22:36.100 --> 00:22:39.090
  • and it was such a painful season.
  • 00:22:39.090 --> 00:22:42.080
  • And I remember asking God,
  • 00:22:42.080 --> 00:22:43.100
  • like what are we supposed to do?
  • 00:22:43.100 --> 00:22:44.140
  • What can we say?
  • 00:22:44.140 --> 00:22:45.180
  • I just remember feeling like the Holy Spirit said,
  • 00:22:47.010 --> 00:22:49.170
  • just go and sit with them, hold their hand.
  • 00:22:49.170 --> 00:22:51.230
  • And that's all we could do,
  • 00:22:51.230 --> 00:22:53.190
  • 'cause we serve an eternal God who is great
  • 00:22:53.190 --> 00:22:56.130
  • and mighty and powerful and majestic,
  • 00:22:56.130 --> 00:22:59.260
  • and he is big enough to step into those spaces.
  • 00:22:59.260 --> 00:23:03.030
  • Our words fall short, really.
  • 00:23:03.030 --> 00:23:05.150
  • - During the years that I was with Women of Faith,
  • 00:23:05.150 --> 00:23:07.080
  • we would often, I would sometimes have nights
  • 00:23:07.080 --> 00:23:09.210
  • where I was not doing so great,
  • 00:23:09.210 --> 00:23:11.130
  • and one of those speaker, Marilyn Meberg,
  • 00:23:11.130 --> 00:23:13.010
  • on a Saturday night, she would say
  • 00:23:13.010 --> 00:23:14.240
  • we're all going out for dinner and you're coming with us,
  • 00:23:14.240 --> 00:23:16.000
  • and I'm like, nope I'm not.
  • 00:23:16.000 --> 00:23:17.160
  • I'm going back to my room.
  • 00:23:17.160 --> 00:23:18.270
  • And she would say, yep you're coming,
  • 00:23:18.270 --> 00:23:20.250
  • if I have to get into your room and I have to dress you
  • 00:23:20.250 --> 00:23:23.160
  • and carry you to the car.
  • 00:23:23.160 --> 00:23:25.160
  • And sometimes you just need somebody
  • 00:23:25.160 --> 00:23:28.110
  • that just loves you enough to say,
  • 00:23:28.110 --> 00:23:29.190
  • you know what, I know you don't feel great,
  • 00:23:29.190 --> 00:23:31.050
  • but trust me, you'll feel better to be with us.
  • 00:23:31.050 --> 00:23:34.030
  • And that's why we need community.
  • 00:23:34.030 --> 00:23:36.140
  • That's why we need one or two safe sisters
  • 00:23:36.140 --> 00:23:39.150
  • that we can tell the whole truth to
  • 00:23:39.150 --> 00:23:41.150
  • and will be there for us.
  • 00:23:41.150 --> 00:23:43.000
  • - Absolutely, without any judgment, condemnation.
  • 00:23:43.000 --> 00:23:45.270
  • - That remind of what's always true
  • 00:23:47.080 --> 00:23:49.050
  • rather than what might be true for a moment,
  • 00:23:49.050 --> 00:23:51.160
  • because sometimes life is hard in the moment,
  • 00:23:51.160 --> 00:23:54.120
  • but when you have somebody who loves you enough
  • 00:23:54.120 --> 00:23:57.040
  • to remind you of the bigger picture.
  • 00:23:57.040 --> 00:23:59.010
  • And just include you,
  • 00:23:59.280 --> 00:24:02.030
  • because anybody who's struggling with depression,
  • 00:24:02.030 --> 00:24:04.210
  • a lot of times they just wanna stay in bed
  • 00:24:04.210 --> 00:24:06.090
  • and pull the covers over.
  • 00:24:06.090 --> 00:24:07.250
  • And sometimes you need to let them do that.
  • 00:24:07.250 --> 00:24:10.000
  • And other times you can make some hot chocolate
  • 00:24:10.000 --> 00:24:12.060
  • and crawl under the covers with them,
  • 00:24:12.060 --> 00:24:14.120
  • or watch Everyone Loves Raymond repeats,
  • 00:24:14.120 --> 00:24:16.220
  • whatever it is that we just say you're not alone in this.
  • 00:24:18.050 --> 00:24:21.250
  • - But that means we have to be willing
  • 00:24:21.250 --> 00:24:23.050
  • to get messy with people.
  • 00:24:23.050 --> 00:24:25.010
  • And so I think our culture doesn't promote that so much.
  • 00:24:25.010 --> 00:24:30.000
  • We're in a hurry,
  • 00:24:30.000 --> 00:24:31.240
  • we're trying to get our stuff together.
  • 00:24:31.240 --> 00:24:34.050
  • Our life is full, busy,
  • 00:24:34.050 --> 00:24:35.150
  • I don't really have time for your mess.
  • 00:24:35.150 --> 00:24:37.070
  • That's just not how the church was built.
  • 00:24:37.070 --> 00:24:39.180
  • That first century Christians, they were dirty together.
  • 00:24:39.180 --> 00:24:41.180
  • They did faith together.
  • 00:24:41.180 --> 00:24:42.240
  • They researched Scriptures together.
  • 00:24:42.240 --> 00:24:45.160
  • Christianity isn't an individual faith.
  • 00:24:45.160 --> 00:24:48.220
  • It's a community. - It's a family.
  • 00:24:48.220 --> 00:24:50.120
  • - It's a family, and so the more I think
  • 00:24:50.120 --> 00:24:52.170
  • people who are struggling with whatever,
  • 00:24:52.170 --> 00:24:55.170
  • mental illness or eating disorders, which is a form.
  • 00:24:55.170 --> 00:24:58.170
  • It's all it is.
  • 00:25:00.130 --> 00:25:01.090
  • It's gonna take all of us together,
  • 00:25:02.130 --> 00:25:04.000
  • getting dirty and asking the hard questions.
  • 00:25:04.000 --> 00:25:06.260
  • I think for me it's learning to be empathetic
  • 00:25:08.230 --> 00:25:12.150
  • and really, when it says Jesus wept,
  • 00:25:12.150 --> 00:25:15.180
  • it's not 'cause he didn't know the end.
  • 00:25:15.180 --> 00:25:18.020
  • But in that moment,
  • 00:25:18.020 --> 00:25:19.180
  • that was the empathy, the compassion.
  • 00:25:20.210 --> 00:25:23.060
  • He knew what he was gonna do with Lazarus
  • 00:25:23.060 --> 00:25:24.220
  • but he wept 'cause the pain that people were suffering.
  • 00:25:24.220 --> 00:25:27.210
  • I could probably get a lot better at that.
  • 00:25:29.050 --> 00:25:31.050
  • - If you've been struggling with feeling like
  • 00:25:31.050 --> 00:25:33.290
  • you just don't measure up.
  • 00:25:33.290 --> 00:25:35.130
  • Maybe you've struggled with anxiety or depression
  • 00:25:35.130 --> 00:25:38.030
  • or some other thing and you just feel Lord,
  • 00:25:38.030 --> 00:25:40.180
  • I'm sinking here.
  • 00:25:40.180 --> 00:25:42.210
  • I would love the privilege of being able to pray for you
  • 00:25:42.210 --> 00:25:46.130
  • and with you.
  • 00:25:46.130 --> 00:25:47.280
  • Would you let me do that?
  • 00:25:47.280 --> 00:25:49.060
  • Father God, I thank you that we don't come
  • 00:25:51.050 --> 00:25:54.240
  • to someone who doesn't know us and love us,
  • 00:25:54.240 --> 00:25:57.150
  • but that we come fully known and fully loved.
  • 00:25:57.150 --> 00:26:01.150
  • And right now Father I wanna pray
  • 00:26:01.150 --> 00:26:03.180
  • for my sisters, even a brother watching in,
  • 00:26:03.180 --> 00:26:07.050
  • Lord you know us so well
  • 00:26:07.050 --> 00:26:09.050
  • and I ask for anyone who's struggling right now,
  • 00:26:09.050 --> 00:26:12.070
  • perhaps full of shame,
  • 00:26:12.070 --> 00:26:14.040
  • feeling like they're not enough,
  • 00:26:14.040 --> 00:26:15.200
  • they'll never be enough.
  • 00:26:15.200 --> 00:26:17.130
  • Perhaps someone who's struggling with depression
  • 00:26:17.130 --> 00:26:19.100
  • or anxiety or fear and thinking,
  • 00:26:19.100 --> 00:26:21.210
  • I'll never fight my way through this.
  • 00:26:21.210 --> 00:26:24.120
  • Lord, you took everything on yourself on the cross,
  • 00:26:24.120 --> 00:26:29.090
  • and when you said, it is finished,
  • 00:26:29.090 --> 00:26:32.210
  • you were saying, job done, bill paid in full.
  • 00:26:32.210 --> 00:26:37.000
  • So I ask Lord that for anyone who is struggling,
  • 00:26:37.000 --> 00:26:40.030
  • that you would be close to them right now.
  • 00:26:40.030 --> 00:26:42.180
  • You promised it Lord.
  • 00:26:42.180 --> 00:26:44.040
  • You said in Psalm 34 through the psalmist David,
  • 00:26:44.040 --> 00:26:47.150
  • the Lord is close to the broken hearted
  • 00:26:47.150 --> 00:26:51.100
  • and saves those who are crushed in spirit.
  • 00:26:51.100 --> 00:26:54.270
  • So I ask that you would do that right now for my sister.
  • 00:26:54.270 --> 00:26:58.010
  • I ask that you would do it in Jesus' name.
  • 00:26:58.010 --> 00:27:00.220
  • Amen.
  • 00:27:02.060 --> 00:27:03.000
  • - [Laurie] You can call the number on your screen right now
  • 00:27:04.120 --> 00:27:06.010
  • to talk to a prayer partner.
  • 00:27:06.010 --> 00:27:07.160
  • We're here for you 24 hours a day, seven days a week.
  • 00:27:07.160 --> 00:27:11.010
  • We love you and most importantly, God loves you.
  • 00:27:11.010 --> 00:27:13.170
  • - [Sheila] You can watch Better Together episodes On Demand.
  • 00:27:15.110 --> 00:27:18.060
  • - [Holly] Go to bettertogether.tv
  • 00:27:18.060 --> 00:27:20.100
  • to stream all of our latest conversations.
  • 00:27:20.100 --> 00:27:22.240
  • - [Sheila] Here's what's coming up next
  • 00:27:25.240 --> 00:27:27.140
  • on Better Together.
  • 00:27:27.140 --> 00:27:28.210
  • When you determine you're gonna reach out
  • 00:27:28.210 --> 00:27:30.060
  • and you're gonna love,
  • 00:27:30.060 --> 00:27:31.130
  • the possibility of being hurt is there,
  • 00:27:31.130 --> 00:27:34.030
  • but I discovered with me, when you suppress pain,
  • 00:27:34.030 --> 00:27:39.030
  • you also suppress joy.
  • 00:27:39.250 --> 00:27:41.060
  • - [Laurie] Watch Better Together weekdays
  • 00:27:41.060 --> 00:27:42.290
  • and Tuesday nights, only on TBN.
  • 00:27:42.290 --> 00:27:45.270