Better Together LIVE | Episode 104 | TBN

Better Together LIVE | Episode 104

Watch Better Together LIVE | Episode 104
September 10, 2020
26:04

Responding to difficulty; conflict; or pain with God's truth can transform hearts and restore relationships. | TBN Prayer Line: 1-888-731-1000

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Better Together LIVE | Episode 104

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  • - The Bible saysthat our tongues
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  • have the power oflife and death.
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  • In other words, our wordsactually matter, y'all.
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  • How we respond to challenges,offenses and pain, it matters.
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  • Speaking God's truth,not our feelings,
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  • into any situationcan transform hearts,
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  • it can bringrestoration and hope.
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  • So, before we let ourmouths run away with us,
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  • let's talk about how wecan answer God's way.
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  • (bubbly music)♪ Ooh-hoo-hoo, hoo, hoo
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  • ♪ Hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo
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  • ♪ Ooh-hoo-hoo, hoo, hoo
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  • ♪ Hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo
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  • ♪ Ooh-hoo-hoo, hoo, hoo
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  • ♪ Hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo
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  • ♪ Ooh-hoo-hoo, hoo, hoo
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  • ♪ Hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo
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  • ♪ Ooh-hoo-hoo, hoo, hoo
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  • ♪ Hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo
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  • - You know, as a child, Idiscovered that an uncle
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  • that I grew up with and loved
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  • was behind themurder of my father.
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  • Now, my father was murderedwhen I was eight months old.
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  • In that moment, there weretwo paths set before me.
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  • There was one of forgiveness,
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  • and there was one of bitterness.
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  • Now, the path ofbitterness is the easy path
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  • because it's the path of, thatI have a right to be upset,
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  • I have a right to be bitter,I have a right to be angry,
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  • but that path alsoleads to bondage,
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  • that path also leadsto blocking out people.
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  • It leads to distrust of anyone.
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  • If my uncle, who I loved
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  • all along, held this secret,
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  • and it's not just any,it's a huge thing,
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  • if that could happen, thenwho can you trust in life?
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  • But, you see, at that age,the Lord began to speak to me
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  • about forgiveness, andHe said to me, He said,
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  • "Stephanie, no one hurtsyou from the place of love
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  • or wisdom, and so, towithhold forgiveness
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  • from your uncle is tohold onto a version of him
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  • that is not his whole truth."
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  • Now, I learnt that thisdid not negate the fact
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  • that what he did was wrong
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  • and that God isa God of justice,
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  • but what it did for me wasto realize that I can choose
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  • God's way, and God's way isnot just an empty command,
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  • that God's way is truth,that there is something
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  • that the Lord sees about himthat I have not witnessed.
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  • I have only seen thebroken side of him,
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  • but I am going tochoose to love by faith,
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  • and that's what the Lord beganto teach me forgiveness is,
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  • to love someoneaccording to God's Word.
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  • And so, you see,even in my life,
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  • how this impacted me so greatly
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  • is because no matter whatI encounter with people,
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  • no matter when I encounterthe brokenness of people,
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  • I'm not one that is now easilyoffended because I recognize,
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  • this is not your whole truth,this is a piece of you,
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  • but you have not yetencountered what God knows.
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  • You see, going God'sway sometimes mayfeel very difficult,
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  • especially in a culture,when we are like,
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  • well, I'm not Jesus, but weare called to be like Jesus.
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  • We are called to be in Hisimage, and so, what I love
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  • about even this conversationthat we're gonna be having
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  • is understandingthat the truth of God
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  • is a mirror to who we truly are,
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  • and when we begin to embraceit and not feel as though
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  • we are being unjustified,
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  • or God is turningthe blind eye to us,
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  • but to recognize that everytime, that there is two options,
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  • and there is theway that we look.
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  • - The way of God and theway that will look like
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  • the way of the enemy.
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  • The way of the enemyis not just about,
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  • this is what my fleshwants to do, this is a lie.
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  • But what God iscalling me to do,
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  • is the mirror to who I truly am.
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  • And so that moment thatcould have taken me
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  • in a very different direction,actually transformed my life
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  • for the rest of my life, inhow I would encounter people,
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  • when I encounteredtheir brokenness.
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  • - Wow.- Beautiful.
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  • - Wow.- That is powerful.
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  • - Wow.- Beautiful.
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  • - Very.
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  • - I remember I was acouple years into marriage,
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  • and I went to Greece withChristine Caine and A21.
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  • And Lisa Vivier was there,
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  • and we were at thisnight of prayer.
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  • And I remember Lisa Vivierwas standing next to me,
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  • and Christine Caine gotup there and she said,
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  • "Guys, turn to the personnext to you and pray."
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  • And so I did what any otherperson would have done.
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  • And I turned the oppositeway of the Lisa Vivier,
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  • because I was so nervousto pray with her.
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  • But unfortunately, theother way was a wall.
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  • (laughing)
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  • And so all I had left todo was turn back to Lisa.
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  • And so Lisa grabbedmy hands and she said,
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  • "Why don't you pray first?"
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  • And I startedshaking in my boots,
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  • trying to think, how doI pray for Lisa Vivier?
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  • And I prayed thebest I could pray.
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  • And then she beganto pray for me.
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  • And this propheticunction came over her,
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  • and she began tospeak life over me.
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  • And she prayed and she walkedaway and she has no idea
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  • what she did in myheart that night.
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  • So the next morning I thought,
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  • I'm gonna tell herwhat that moment meant.
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  • And I said, "Hey, Miss Lisa,
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  • "can I tell youwhat that moment?"
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  • And she goes, "Wait a minute,
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  • "I've got to tellyou something."
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  • I said, "Oh, I hope not,you read my mail last night.
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  • "What else couldyou tell me today,
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  • "that would beanymore you know?"
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  • And she said, "There'ssomeone in your past,
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  • "that you need to forgive,
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  • "'cause God's trying to giveyou the desires of your heart,
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  • "but he can't becauseyou're holding
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  • "onto too much unforgiveness."
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  • And I thought,"What in the world?"
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  • And I remember right there,I said, " But miss Lisa,
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  • "you don't understand.
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  • "You don't understandwho I'm angry at.
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  • "And I actually, I believeGod's angry with me.
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  • "Like we've actuallypartnered together on this.
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  • "And I think we'rerighteously angry together."
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  • She said, "No ma'am,that's not how it works."
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  • And I begin to feel this,like, what do you mean?
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  • And immediately theLord gave me this image.
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  • It took me a year by the way,
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  • to walk through thisprocess of unforgiveness.
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  • And he gave me thisimage and he said,
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  • it's as though you've pickedup this really heavy boulder,
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  • this big, big rock, and youkeep trying to carry it around
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  • everywhere saying, "Well,God, you understand
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  • "why I'm carryingthis rock, don't you?"
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  • And he would say,"Yes, I understand."
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  • But he would not saythat he created me
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  • or called me to carry it.
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  • And he said, your hands arefull and you keep asking me,
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  • God, I would like foryou to give me this,
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  • I would like foryou to give me this.
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  • And he says, "I would love to,
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  • "but your hands are sofull with unforgiveness."
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  • And in that moment I realized,that I needed to let go.
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  • Just like Stephanie talkedabout, there was two paths.
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  • And unfortunately, I chosethe path of the bitterness,
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  • and I thought God waswalking me on that path.
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  • And I thought he understood,
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  • because I had beentaken advantage of.
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  • I had been abused,I had been hurt.
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  • He did, that he would not agree
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  • with what had been done tome, but he would always agree
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  • with me releasingthat person of it.
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  • And I think that is whatbroke my heart so much.
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  • Is to realize the unforgiveness
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  • was not actually hurting theperson that I wanted to hurt,
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  • unforgiveness was hurting me.
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  • It was holding me back.
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  • It was putting,just like you said,
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  • it was puttingbondage around me.
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  • It was puttingweight on my heart.
  • 00:07:01.177 --> 00:07:03.012
  • It was as though I hadchains all around me,
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  • that I kept saying, but it'sokay because this is righteous.
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  • And I just rememberit took me a year,
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  • and every day I would have tosay, "God, I don't understand,
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  • "but I choose toforgive this guy.
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  • "I choose toforgive this person.
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  • "I choose to let them go."
  • 00:07:18.494 --> 00:07:20.496
  • And I, every day I had to do it.
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  • And it was a year to theday, that I found out,
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  • that the biggestdesire of my heart,
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  • I was then receiving.
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  • And it was a huge deal.
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  • And I remember the Lord saying,
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  • "You've released the burdenyou've been carrying."
  • 00:07:33.943 --> 00:07:36.746
  • And every day I walkeda little bit lighter,
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  • and I walked with a littlebit more hype in my step,
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  • I guess you could say.
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  • I just felt a little bitmore joyful every day.
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  • Not realizing the bondage
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  • that that unforgivenesswas doing in my heart.
  • 00:07:48.558 --> 00:07:50.693
  • And still to this day,
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  • now that's been maybe10, 11 years from now,
  • 00:07:52.295 --> 00:07:55.197
  • I can still tell you,there have been days
  • 00:07:55.197 --> 00:07:57.700
  • that I've had to remind myself,
  • 00:07:57.700 --> 00:07:59.368
  • "Don't pick up that boulder."- Right.
  • 00:07:59.368 --> 00:08:01.203
  • - There have been daysI've had to tell myself,
  • 00:08:01.203 --> 00:08:02.939
  • "It's not worth carrying that.
  • 00:08:02.939 --> 00:08:04.640
  • "You're only hurting yourself,you're not hurting him.
  • 00:08:04.640 --> 00:08:07.209
  • "You're not getting back athim by holding onto this."
  • 00:08:07.209 --> 00:08:10.713
  • And I would betterremind myself of that.
  • 00:08:10.713 --> 00:08:12.715
  • But every day I make thechoice, to walk the path
  • 00:08:12.715 --> 00:08:15.518
  • that Stephanie talksabout of forgiveness.
  • 00:08:15.518 --> 00:08:17.887
  • I feel a hugedifference in my spirit.
  • 00:08:17.887 --> 00:08:21.424
  • - Yeah, you know, and I lovewhat both of you have said
  • 00:08:21.424 --> 00:08:25.094
  • about the choicewe make to forgive,
  • 00:08:25.094 --> 00:08:28.130
  • and how it's alignedwith God's truth.
  • 00:08:28.130 --> 00:08:30.700
  • - If you study this lovestory from cover to cover,
  • 00:08:32.101 --> 00:08:34.670
  • you see that, God's truth
  • 00:08:34.670 --> 00:08:37.573
  • and our choice to forgivethose who have wounded us,
  • 00:08:37.573 --> 00:08:41.444
  • it's usually likechips-in-case so,
  • 00:08:41.444 --> 00:08:43.646
  • they go together,they're better together.
  • 00:08:43.646 --> 00:08:47.083
  • I was in a situationrecently where a woman was
  • 00:08:47.083 --> 00:08:51.253
  • very, very angry with me, andwhy she was angry with me,
  • 00:08:51.253 --> 00:08:56.258
  • I hadn't done what shethought I had done.
  • 00:08:58.227 --> 00:09:00.763
  • But as I was praying about it,
  • 00:09:00.763 --> 00:09:01.998
  • I thought, I'vedone a lot of things
  • 00:09:01.998 --> 00:09:04.467
  • that I need to say I'm sorryfor that she doesn't know.
  • 00:09:04.467 --> 00:09:07.737
  • So we had coffee togetherand she began to vent
  • 00:09:07.737 --> 00:09:12.708
  • and I just, when therewas a time for me to
  • 00:09:13.909 --> 00:09:16.312
  • insert my voice inthe conversation,
  • 00:09:16.312 --> 00:09:18.781
  • I just reached outand I held her hand
  • 00:09:18.781 --> 00:09:21.150
  • and I said, "I am so sorry,
  • 00:09:21.150 --> 00:09:26.055
  • I've wounded you,"
  • 00:09:26.055 --> 00:09:27.423
  • - Hmm
  • 00:09:27.423 --> 00:09:28.858
  • - and I wanted to go, actually,I'm the one in the ride,
  • 00:09:28.858 --> 00:09:31.360
  • I felt like you didElaine, I thought,
  • 00:09:31.360 --> 00:09:33.062
  • "Lord you and I needto gang up together
  • 00:09:33.062 --> 00:09:35.064
  • and reflect her sin to her,"
  • 00:09:35.064 --> 00:09:37.900
  • but just saying, "I'msorry I hurt you."
  • 00:09:37.900 --> 00:09:41.871
  • It's almost like Ihad put a giant muzzle
  • 00:09:41.871 --> 00:09:44.473
  • in her mouth like allthe vitriol stopped,
  • 00:09:44.473 --> 00:09:47.243
  • and she just went,and begin to weep.
  • 00:09:47.243 --> 00:09:51.247
  • And it was one of themost lovely conversations
  • 00:09:51.247 --> 00:09:55.117
  • because she ended upsharing some deeper wounds
  • 00:09:55.117 --> 00:09:58.721
  • that my words had just kinda
  • 00:09:58.721 --> 00:10:00.623
  • stepped on the edge ofa bruise in her heart.
  • 00:10:00.623 --> 00:10:03.693
  • And I thought, wow,
  • 00:10:03.693 --> 00:10:05.194
  • it reminded me of somethingsomeone very wise said to me,
  • 00:10:05.194 --> 00:10:09.932
  • a woman who has astrong Scottish accent
  • 00:10:11.100 --> 00:10:12.535
  • and doesn't look 64,
  • 00:10:12.535 --> 00:10:14.170
  • Sheila Walsh,(laughs)20 years ago,
  • 00:10:15.271 --> 00:10:19.141
  • I heard Sheila say,
  • 00:10:19.141 --> 00:10:21.143
  • " forgiveness is agift God gives us
  • 00:10:21.143 --> 00:10:25.314
  • to live in a worldthat's unfair,"
  • 00:10:25.314 --> 00:10:27.483
  • us living in freedom meanswe choose to forgive,
  • 00:10:27.483 --> 00:10:31.287
  • not because theperson who wounded us
  • 00:10:31.287 --> 00:10:33.155
  • necessarily deserves it,like your uncle, Stephanie,
  • 00:10:33.155 --> 00:10:36.926
  • but because we chooseto walk in God's freedom
  • 00:10:36.926 --> 00:10:39.395
  • and because whilewe were sinners,
  • 00:10:39.395 --> 00:10:42.732
  • God loved us while wewere still sinners,
  • 00:10:42.732 --> 00:10:45.801
  • he didn't wait for usto clean ourselves up.
  • 00:10:45.801 --> 00:10:48.237
  • That allows us to havea gift to give someone
  • 00:10:48.237 --> 00:10:51.407
  • our forgiveness,regardless of whether
  • 00:10:51.407 --> 00:10:53.642
  • we think they deserve it or not.
  • 00:10:53.642 --> 00:10:55.711
  • - It's so interestingLisa because I thinkabout the climate
  • 00:10:56.712 --> 00:10:59.348
  • that we're livingin at the moment,
  • 00:10:59.348 --> 00:11:00.316
  • and I think about social media,
  • 00:11:00.316 --> 00:11:02.318
  • and I think about thevitriol on social media.
  • 00:11:02.318 --> 00:11:05.254
  • I've never known
  • 00:11:05.254 --> 00:11:06.088
  • a time like it.- No.
  • 00:11:06.088 --> 00:11:07.623
  • - And so one of my prayershas become at the moment,
  • 00:11:07.623 --> 00:11:10.659
  • every single day,
  • 00:11:10.659 --> 00:11:12.228
  • I ask the Lord giveme ears to hear
  • 00:11:12.228 --> 00:11:14.730
  • - Right
  • 00:11:14.730 --> 00:11:15.664
  • - what's really going on,
  • 00:11:15.664 --> 00:11:16.899
  • rather than whatsomebody's saying,
  • 00:11:16.899 --> 00:11:18.167
  • give me eyes to seewhat I'm gonna miss.
  • 00:11:18.167 --> 00:11:20.402
  • And a couple of weeks ago,
  • 00:11:20.402 --> 00:11:21.971
  • I was home late from asmall event I've been doing.
  • 00:11:21.971 --> 00:11:26.442
  • And I was checkingmy Facebook page,
  • 00:11:26.442 --> 00:11:27.977
  • and there was a privatemessage from someone.
  • 00:11:27.977 --> 00:11:30.045
  • And I don't thinkI've ever been called
  • 00:11:30.045 --> 00:11:32.381
  • as many names as this onewoman called me and said
  • 00:11:32.381 --> 00:11:36.152
  • how she was tired of mysmirking face in television
  • 00:11:36.152 --> 00:11:39.221
  • and yeah, and then itwent on to include words
  • 00:11:39.221 --> 00:11:41.390
  • that only require four letters.
  • 00:11:41.390 --> 00:11:43.659
  • And it was justlike, whoa, Mama!
  • 00:11:43.659 --> 00:11:46.262
  • And so I began, I paused there,
  • 00:11:46.262 --> 00:11:50.332
  • 'cause then my natural instinctwas to block her or say,
  • 00:11:50.332 --> 00:11:54.270
  • go away because you'rea big fat moron,
  • 00:11:54.270 --> 00:11:56.739
  • but I thought no,
  • 00:11:56.739 --> 00:11:57.706
  • that's probably not God's will.
  • 00:11:57.706 --> 00:11:59.008
  • So, I paused and Iwas like Holy Spirit,
  • 00:12:00.176 --> 00:12:02.812
  • what's going on here?
  • 00:12:02.812 --> 00:12:04.213
  • So, because it was late,
  • 00:12:04.213 --> 00:12:05.648
  • all I did was I justwrote back a little note,
  • 00:12:05.648 --> 00:12:07.383
  • and I said, "Hi, I don'tthink we've ever met,
  • 00:12:07.383 --> 00:12:09.852
  • but I feel like you'rein a lot of pain
  • 00:12:09.852 --> 00:12:12.121
  • and if there's any wayI can ever help you,
  • 00:12:12.121 --> 00:12:15.324
  • just let me know."
  • 00:12:15.324 --> 00:12:16.926
  • And the funny thing was, shetexted me back the next day,
  • 00:12:16.926 --> 00:12:20.362
  • and she said, "Sorry about that,
  • 00:12:20.362 --> 00:12:21.697
  • I drank too muchthe night before."
  • 00:12:21.697 --> 00:12:23.666
  • And it was just kind of funnybecause she was calling me
  • 00:12:23.666 --> 00:12:26.869
  • like this awfulChristian and stuff.
  • 00:12:26.869 --> 00:12:28.370
  • - Yeah.
  • 00:12:28.370 --> 00:12:29.872
  • - But somehow, the momentif we as God's daughters
  • 00:12:29.872 --> 00:12:32.141
  • can rise above
  • 00:12:32.141 --> 00:12:33.976
  • - That's right.
  • 00:12:33.976 --> 00:12:35.444
  • - the current climate andspeak words of life to people,
  • 00:12:35.444 --> 00:12:39.081
  • and it's so easy to respond,
  • 00:12:39.081 --> 00:12:41.417
  • but one of thethings I've learned,
  • 00:12:41.417 --> 00:12:42.952
  • and I learned it from I thinkhe's your friend too Loriann,
  • 00:12:42.952 --> 00:12:45.187
  • my friend Henry Claude was,
  • 00:12:45.187 --> 00:12:46.689
  • the difference betweenreacting and responding.
  • 00:12:46.689 --> 00:12:50.125
  • - That's right.
  • 00:12:50.125 --> 00:12:51.360
  • - When I feel likeI have to react,
  • 00:12:51.360 --> 00:12:52.895
  • I need to just pause, put aHoly Spirit pause on that,
  • 00:12:52.895 --> 00:12:56.365
  • and ask the Holy Spiritfor wisdom to know.
  • 00:12:56.365 --> 00:12:59.802
  • And I mean, there's times when -
  • 00:12:59.802 --> 00:13:01.203
  • - You're just bitter
  • 00:13:01.904 --> 00:13:03.105
  • and you need tojust shut that down
  • 00:13:03.105 --> 00:13:04.573
  • because you don't needto allow that negativity.
  • 00:13:04.573 --> 00:13:06.108
  • But I also think God is in thebusiness of restoring people.
  • 00:13:06.108 --> 00:13:10.145
  • - Right.
  • 00:13:10.145 --> 00:13:11.380
  • - And people are verybroken and very hurt
  • 00:13:11.380 --> 00:13:12.748
  • and very fearful at the moment.
  • 00:13:12.748 --> 00:13:14.984
  • And I think for thoseof us who love the Lord,
  • 00:13:14.984 --> 00:13:16.819
  • who have walked withHim for a while,
  • 00:13:16.819 --> 00:13:18.787
  • can learn to listen withthe ears of the Holy Spirit,
  • 00:13:18.787 --> 00:13:22.258
  • to be able toattempt to speak life
  • 00:13:22.258 --> 00:13:25.160
  • when there's so muchdeath out there.
  • 00:13:25.160 --> 00:13:27.796
  • - That's right.
  • 00:13:27.796 --> 00:13:28.998
  • - That's so beautiful,- That's so good.
  • 00:13:28.998 --> 00:13:29.932
  • - I love that speaking life
  • 00:13:29.932 --> 00:13:31.567
  • when there's death requiresyou to be living in freedom.
  • 00:13:31.567 --> 00:13:36.572
  • And to me there is nofreedom without forgiveness.
  • 00:13:36.572 --> 00:13:40.442
  • I was divorced a number ofyears ago I'm happily remarried.
  • 00:13:40.442 --> 00:13:45.414
  • But I can tell youthat the offense
  • 00:13:46.615 --> 00:13:48.751
  • from that past wound
  • 00:13:48.751 --> 00:13:50.986
  • and for those thathave been divorced,
  • 00:13:50.986 --> 00:13:52.821
  • I think you willknow what I'm saying.
  • 00:13:52.821 --> 00:13:54.456
  • The hurt from those past wounds,
  • 00:13:54.456 --> 00:13:58.027
  • allowed me towallow in an offense
  • 00:13:58.027 --> 00:14:01.463
  • where I felt very comfortable
  • 00:14:01.463 --> 00:14:03.599
  • and very justified innot forgiving that person
  • 00:14:03.599 --> 00:14:08.437
  • and the events aroundthat situation.
  • 00:14:08.437 --> 00:14:10.406
  • There's a really goodbook by John Bevere,
  • 00:14:10.406 --> 00:14:14.209
  • it's called "The Bait of Satan."
  • 00:14:14.209 --> 00:14:16.545
  • And it talks abouthow unforgiveness
  • 00:14:16.545 --> 00:14:21.050
  • allows you to placeimpediments of offense
  • 00:14:21.050 --> 00:14:25.854
  • that separates you from freedom.
  • 00:14:25.854 --> 00:14:29.358
  • So I would justencourage all of you
  • 00:14:29.358 --> 00:14:31.660
  • that are listening to this,
  • 00:14:31.660 --> 00:14:32.728
  • whether it's from a divorce
  • 00:14:32.728 --> 00:14:34.163
  • or whether it'sfrom a past wound,
  • 00:14:34.163 --> 00:14:35.864
  • from anybody in your life
  • 00:14:35.864 --> 00:14:37.733
  • to realize that you actuallydon't have the authority
  • 00:14:37.733 --> 00:14:42.738
  • and the power to forgivesomeone of their sins.
  • 00:14:43.939 --> 00:14:46.342
  • You're forgivingthem from yourself
  • 00:14:46.342 --> 00:14:50.245
  • to find a place of freedom
  • 00:14:50.245 --> 00:14:52.614
  • so that, that unforgivenessin you doesn't create offense
  • 00:14:52.614 --> 00:14:57.586
  • and trip you up and createan impediment for you
  • 00:14:59.021 --> 00:15:01.790
  • to get to the nextlevel with the Lord,
  • 00:15:01.790 --> 00:15:03.759
  • God's gonna haveto deal with them.
  • 00:15:03.759 --> 00:15:05.361
  • - Yeah.
  • 00:15:05.361 --> 00:15:06.295
  • - You just have to deal with God
  • 00:15:06.295 --> 00:15:08.931
  • and ask forgiveness.
  • 00:15:08.931 --> 00:15:09.765
  • - Right.
  • 00:15:09.765 --> 00:15:10.599
  • - Wow.
  • 00:15:10.599 --> 00:15:12.101
  • - And forgive those peoplethat have offended you.
  • 00:15:12.101 --> 00:15:13.669
  • - Yeah, I love that so much
  • 00:15:13.669 --> 00:15:15.771
  • because I think evenwhat we're saying
  • 00:15:15.771 --> 00:15:17.740
  • is that sometimes it'shard to choose God's way
  • 00:15:17.740 --> 00:15:20.376
  • because you feel likeyou should be justified
  • 00:15:20.376 --> 00:15:22.578
  • in the way thatyou wanna go about.
  • 00:15:22.578 --> 00:15:24.780
  • And very oddly, Ieven think about Jesus
  • 00:15:24.780 --> 00:15:28.584
  • you know, there's a timewhen he started his ministry
  • 00:15:28.584 --> 00:15:32.488
  • in the Scriptures we learned
  • 00:15:32.488 --> 00:15:33.956
  • that the peoplefrom his hometown,
  • 00:15:33.956 --> 00:15:35.824
  • there's a particularscripture where it talks about
  • 00:15:35.824 --> 00:15:37.860
  • that they were offended by him.
  • 00:15:37.860 --> 00:15:39.928
  • And that really stood out to me.
  • 00:15:39.928 --> 00:15:42.898
  • I was like, God, whywere they offended?
  • 00:15:42.898 --> 00:15:45.467
  • I mean, what is itto be offended about?
  • 00:15:45.467 --> 00:15:48.003
  • And what he began to show meis that I have to understand
  • 00:15:48.003 --> 00:15:52.074
  • that Jesus was there whentheir loved ones were sick.
  • 00:15:52.074 --> 00:15:56.445
  • Jesus was there I mean, hewas a son of a carpenter,
  • 00:15:56.445 --> 00:16:00.516
  • he may have even beenbuilt some things
  • 00:16:00.516 --> 00:16:01.817
  • that they used tobury their loved ones,
  • 00:16:01.817 --> 00:16:03.752
  • he was very aware,he was very present
  • 00:16:03.752 --> 00:16:05.854
  • and all of a suddenfor 30 years,
  • 00:16:05.854 --> 00:16:08.924
  • you've just been, youknow, under the radar
  • 00:16:08.924 --> 00:16:11.060
  • and then you show uptoday as the Messiah.
  • 00:16:11.060 --> 00:16:14.363
  • So you could have saved allthese people, where were you?
  • 00:16:14.363 --> 00:16:17.966
  • And what the Lordbegan to teach me about
  • 00:16:17.966 --> 00:16:20.102
  • that particular scripture
  • 00:16:20.102 --> 00:16:21.804
  • is that we neverunderstand the full story.
  • 00:16:21.804 --> 00:16:24.706
  • And so when he's showingus the way to choose
  • 00:16:24.706 --> 00:16:28.477
  • that this is the wayI'm calling you to.
  • 00:16:28.477 --> 00:16:30.479
  • You may feel justifiedin your own thing
  • 00:16:30.479 --> 00:16:33.215
  • but you don't understandthe full story.
  • 00:16:33.215 --> 00:16:36.018
  • And I'm just believing
  • 00:16:36.018 --> 00:16:37.486
  • that this is speaking toeveryone watching right now
  • 00:16:37.486 --> 00:16:40.289
  • that whatever it isthat you feel like,
  • 00:16:40.289 --> 00:16:42.191
  • you know what, God I don'tknow how to do this very thing
  • 00:16:42.191 --> 00:16:44.827
  • that you're calling me to do.
  • 00:16:44.827 --> 00:16:46.462
  • God sees all, he is allknowing, he is all knowledge
  • 00:16:46.462 --> 00:16:50.466
  • and there are things thathe understands about the end
  • 00:16:50.466 --> 00:16:53.936
  • of what he's tellingyou to start.
  • 00:16:53.936 --> 00:16:55.737
  • Maybe it's the startjust being kind,
  • 00:16:55.737 --> 00:16:57.573
  • start forgiving someonethat you have held onto
  • 00:16:57.573 --> 00:17:00.309
  • that burden for so long.
  • 00:17:00.309 --> 00:17:01.777
  • That whatever it is, thatis a barrier standing
  • 00:17:01.777 --> 00:17:04.546
  • in the very thing thatGod is telling you to do,
  • 00:17:04.546 --> 00:17:06.748
  • to recognize that you don'tsee the full picture yet,
  • 00:17:06.748 --> 00:17:09.718
  • you may feel justifiedin your own way
  • 00:17:09.718 --> 00:17:11.987
  • but to trust that theGod that is showing you
  • 00:17:11.987 --> 00:17:14.389
  • the image of who you truly are,
  • 00:17:14.389 --> 00:17:16.658
  • is a God that knows theend from the beginning.
  • 00:17:16.658 --> 00:17:19.161
  • And he's speakingto you from a place
  • 00:17:19.161 --> 00:17:21.163
  • to get you to an endthat will be fruitful
  • 00:17:21.163 --> 00:17:23.265
  • and that is for you.
  • 00:17:23.265 --> 00:17:24.299
  • Yeah, I think for me that'sbeen my journey, right.
  • 00:17:25.567 --> 00:17:27.803
  • It's like you lean in
  • 00:17:27.803 --> 00:17:29.104
  • and I think whatI'm realizing too,
  • 00:17:29.104 --> 00:17:30.939
  • is unforgiveness iswhat holds me back
  • 00:17:30.939 --> 00:17:33.375
  • from the intimacy withGod that I desire.
  • 00:17:33.375 --> 00:17:35.844
  • - Right.
  • 00:17:35.844 --> 00:17:37.346
  • - I think that's what we'reall saying right here and now
  • 00:17:37.346 --> 00:17:38.547
  • is it's not thatthey weren't wrong,
  • 00:17:38.547 --> 00:17:41.183
  • it's not what theydid wasn't hurtful
  • 00:17:41.183 --> 00:17:44.453
  • and that you don'thave the right.
  • 00:17:44.453 --> 00:17:46.188
  • It's that when you choose,when we choose to hold this,
  • 00:17:46.188 --> 00:17:49.858
  • we lose intimacy with the Father
  • 00:17:49.858 --> 00:17:52.361
  • and that's what we're all after.
  • 00:17:52.361 --> 00:17:53.962
  • We want to be closer to him
  • 00:17:53.962 --> 00:17:55.564
  • and when we do thatwe harden our heart
  • 00:17:55.564 --> 00:17:58.033
  • and we stiff-arm him andI think that's where.
  • 00:17:58.033 --> 00:18:01.036
  • pick up the offenses, and,you know, I think about
  • 00:18:04.006 --> 00:18:06.575
  • the woman that they said"We should all stone her,"
  • 00:18:06.575 --> 00:18:09.878
  • and Jesus leaned in and he said,
  • 00:18:09.878 --> 00:18:11.346
  • "Let the person with nosin, throw the first stone."
  • 00:18:11.346 --> 00:18:14.483
  • And no one could do that.
  • 00:18:14.483 --> 00:18:16.251
  • Yet, they were all willingand ready to fight this woman.
  • 00:18:16.251 --> 00:18:19.054
  • - [Lisa] Right.
  • 00:18:19.054 --> 00:18:20.556
  • - But the same stones were thestones that David picked up
  • 00:18:20.556 --> 00:18:22.991
  • to fight his enemy,and oftentimes I think
  • 00:18:22.991 --> 00:18:25.861
  • we're redirectingour unforgivenessto the wrong people.
  • 00:18:25.861 --> 00:18:29.698
  • I think we need to bereminded that the stones
  • 00:18:29.698 --> 00:18:32.367
  • that we pick up are not to throw
  • 00:18:32.367 --> 00:18:34.136
  • at our brothers andour sisters in Christ,
  • 00:18:34.136 --> 00:18:36.038
  • who may have rightfullyhurt us or wronged us,
  • 00:18:36.038 --> 00:18:38.874
  • but they're for us togo after the enemy,
  • 00:18:38.874 --> 00:18:40.876
  • just like Stephanie's talking,
  • 00:18:40.876 --> 00:18:42.211
  • we don't have the full picture.
  • 00:18:42.211 --> 00:18:44.179
  • You don't know if Satanis working in their life.
  • 00:18:44.179 --> 00:18:47.382
  • You don't, and I'mnot saying that.
  • 00:18:47.382 --> 00:18:49.151
  • I'm just saying you have no idea
  • 00:18:49.151 --> 00:18:51.286
  • what all is goingon, I have no idea,
  • 00:18:51.286 --> 00:18:54.089
  • but I don't want to giveSatan any more ground
  • 00:18:54.089 --> 00:18:56.925
  • by the stones I choose to carry
  • 00:18:56.925 --> 00:18:59.061
  • and throw to those around me.
  • 00:18:59.061 --> 00:19:01.163
  • I wanna to make sure,like we talked about,
  • 00:19:01.163 --> 00:19:04.366
  • I don't want to react,I want to respond.
  • 00:19:04.366 --> 00:19:07.903
  • And what that means isI'm going to be at a place
  • 00:19:07.903 --> 00:19:10.138
  • that I'm in suchpeace and such joy
  • 00:19:10.138 --> 00:19:12.741
  • with the Lord that I cantake a moment and pause,
  • 00:19:12.741 --> 00:19:15.544
  • And I think sometimes wedon't feel like we have
  • 00:19:15.544 --> 00:19:18.380
  • the opportunity topause with social media,
  • 00:19:18.380 --> 00:19:21.617
  • everything's rightnow fast, give me your
  • 00:19:21.617 --> 00:19:23.585
  • right now thoughts,and I don't think
  • 00:19:23.585 --> 00:19:25.587
  • that's how the Lord said it.
  • 00:19:25.587 --> 00:19:26.855
  • He would often goup the mountain
  • 00:19:26.855 --> 00:19:28.757
  • and take a moment topause with his Father,
  • 00:19:28.757 --> 00:19:31.627
  • and I think sometimes weneed to learn to pause before
  • 00:19:31.627 --> 00:19:35.163
  • we go and start trying torespond or trying to react
  • 00:19:35.163 --> 00:19:38.734
  • to what is happening, orjust take a moment and say,
  • 00:19:38.734 --> 00:19:41.069
  • "Lord, do in mewhat you need to do
  • 00:19:41.069 --> 00:19:44.039
  • "before I go and speak to them,
  • 00:19:44.039 --> 00:19:46.174
  • "because you'lltake care of them,
  • 00:19:46.174 --> 00:19:47.709
  • "and I want the intimacy withyou that I'm in control of."
  • 00:19:47.709 --> 00:19:52.347
  • - Yeah, I love that Elaine,that Selah, in the Psalms,
  • 00:19:52.347 --> 00:19:57.319
  • that's one of my favoritewords, that Holy pause,
  • 00:19:58.787 --> 00:20:01.056
  • when you go to Israel,if you ever get a chance
  • 00:20:01.056 --> 00:20:04.092
  • to go to the Holy land,the Southern Steps,
  • 00:20:04.092 --> 00:20:07.095
  • and that's the one placein geographical Israel
  • 00:20:07.095 --> 00:20:11.166
  • that we know Jesuswalked because those are
  • 00:20:11.166 --> 00:20:14.369
  • the Herodian steps that ledto the entrance of the Temple,
  • 00:20:14.369 --> 00:20:17.272
  • when Jesus was ayoung man and we have
  • 00:20:17.272 --> 00:20:18.974
  • all the narrative that proveshe worshiped at temple.
  • 00:20:18.974 --> 00:20:22.244
  • So, you know, hewalked those steps.
  • 00:20:22.244 --> 00:20:23.879
  • The thing that wasso interesting to me,
  • 00:20:23.879 --> 00:20:25.480
  • I was just therea few months ago,
  • 00:20:25.480 --> 00:20:26.848
  • and we got to actuallyhave a Bible study
  • 00:20:26.848 --> 00:20:28.417
  • on the Southern Steps,is the Southern Steps
  • 00:20:28.417 --> 00:20:31.219
  • are very uneven, and so wewere talking to a professor
  • 00:20:31.219 --> 00:20:36.091
  • there who's brilliantwith Jewish history,
  • 00:20:36.091 --> 00:20:38.727
  • and he said, "Well, ifyou study the architecture
  • 00:20:38.727 --> 00:20:41.363
  • "of the temple, they purposelymade those steps uneven,
  • 00:20:41.363 --> 00:20:45.934
  • "so you would have topause as you were going
  • 00:20:45.934 --> 00:20:49.338
  • "into worship and itwasn't a rote activity."
  • 00:20:49.338 --> 00:20:52.407
  • You couldn't just run up'em or you would trip.
  • 00:20:52.407 --> 00:20:54.876
  • You had to think as you wereentering the House of God.
  • 00:20:54.876 --> 00:20:58.914
  • And that is not natural for me.
  • 00:20:58.914 --> 00:21:02.217
  • The verse I heard the mostwhen I was growing up is
  • 00:21:03.719 --> 00:21:07.189
  • "When words are manysin is not absent,"
  • 00:21:07.189 --> 00:21:10.559
  • and I've had to work atdisciplining
  • 00:21:10.559 --> 00:21:12.861
  • myself to slow downbefore I speak.
  • 00:21:12.861 --> 00:21:17.099
  • And so, I have twovisuals in my mind, now,
  • 00:21:17.099 --> 00:21:20.702
  • One is those unevensteps that let me pause,
  • 00:21:20.702 --> 00:21:24.506
  • so that I'll walk rightlyinstead of walk reactionally.
  • 00:21:24.506 --> 00:21:28.643
  • And then the other one isa visual from when I was
  • 00:21:28.643 --> 00:21:31.546
  • a young woman, my mom didanother amazingly wise thing.
  • 00:21:31.546 --> 00:21:35.717
  • My little brother had donesomething, he's younger
  • 00:21:35.717 --> 00:21:37.919
  • than me, and he wasjust heck on wheels.
  • 00:21:37.919 --> 00:21:40.522
  • He was always doing somethingnaughty and he had done
  • 00:21:40.522 --> 00:21:43.358
  • something deeply offensive,I don't remember what it was.
  • 00:21:43.358 --> 00:21:47.028
  • And so, he was gonnain trouble for it.
  • 00:21:47.028 --> 00:21:49.631
  • And my mother said,"Lisa, I want you to go
  • 00:21:50.799 --> 00:21:52.501
  • "in the backyardand pick the switch
  • 00:21:52.501 --> 00:21:55.337
  • "that I'll use to spankyour little brother."
  • 00:21:55.337 --> 00:21:58.273
  • And I remember justbeing like, ah, ah, ah,
  • 00:21:58.273 --> 00:22:01.143
  • 'cause I loved mylittle brother,
  • 00:22:01.143 --> 00:22:02.677
  • even though he wasa stinker and I felt
  • 00:22:02.677 --> 00:22:04.880
  • like he needed toget in trouble,
  • 00:22:04.880 --> 00:22:06.948
  • I did not wanna to pickthe switch that my mom
  • 00:22:06.948 --> 00:22:10.886
  • would use to spank mylittle brother with.
  • 00:22:10.886 --> 00:22:13.054
  • And I remember that was justthis crisis of conscious
  • 00:22:13.054 --> 00:22:16.792
  • for me, And I wentout in the backyard
  • 00:22:16.792 --> 00:22:19.294
  • and I cried and I came backwith like a twig that big,
  • 00:22:19.294 --> 00:22:22.664
  • 'cause I didn't wantmy little brother
  • 00:22:22.664 --> 00:22:24.766
  • to be hurt 'cause Iloved my little brother.
  • 00:22:24.766 --> 00:22:26.935
  • And so, I think sometimesif we would recognize
  • 00:22:26.935 --> 00:22:30.972
  • the people we interactwith, even those who maybe
  • 00:22:30.972 --> 00:22:34.743
  • their spiritual fruitis still a little green,
  • 00:22:34.743 --> 00:22:37.679
  • hard spiritual fruit,they haven't matured yet,
  • 00:22:37.679 --> 00:22:40.582
  • to love us the way that wewish they would love us.
  • 00:22:40.582 --> 00:22:43.452
  • If we would seethem as Imago Dei,
  • 00:22:43.452 --> 00:22:46.421
  • as people who bear God's image,
  • 00:22:46.421 --> 00:22:49.391
  • we would be hesitantbefore we wanted
  • 00:22:49.391 --> 00:22:52.060
  • God to use a big switch.
  • 00:22:52.060 --> 00:22:53.962
  • - We would say no, no,no, that's my brother,
  • 00:22:54.996 --> 00:22:56.331
  • that's my sister,they need to grow up,
  • 00:22:56.331 --> 00:22:59.334
  • but please be careful withtheir heart and their mind,
  • 00:22:59.334 --> 00:23:02.270
  • it would help us beslower to take offense
  • 00:23:02.270 --> 00:23:05.507
  • and faster to offer forgiveness.
  • 00:23:05.507 --> 00:23:08.109
  • - Yeah, wow, I lovethat Lisa and honestly,
  • 00:23:08.109 --> 00:23:11.313
  • I'm just thinking of peoplewatching you right now
  • 00:23:11.313 --> 00:23:12.948
  • and even thinking,"Why I have to forgive?
  • 00:23:12.948 --> 00:23:14.950
  • This is so big, I don'tknow where to start."
  • 00:23:14.950 --> 00:23:16.384
  • - Yeah.- Start where you are.
  • 00:23:16.384 --> 00:23:18.320
  • - Yes,- Just start where you are.
  • 00:23:18.320 --> 00:23:19.855
  • I mean, I remember whensomebody really wounded me,
  • 00:23:19.855 --> 00:23:22.123
  • and I know I'm supposedto forgive and I did,
  • 00:23:22.123 --> 00:23:24.259
  • so, my first prayerwent like this,
  • 00:23:24.259 --> 00:23:25.594
  • I mean, I was younger,but I was like,
  • 00:23:25.594 --> 00:23:27.729
  • "Lord, I forgive them, butyou know I don't mean it,"
  • 00:23:27.729 --> 00:23:30.265
  • and I prayed
  • 00:23:30.265 --> 00:23:31.566
  • (all laughing)but I prayed every single day.
  • 00:23:31.566 --> 00:23:33.969
  • - [Lisa] Yeah.- It was like,
  • 00:23:33.969 --> 00:23:35.470
  • I dragged my will in linewith the will of God,
  • 00:23:35.470 --> 00:23:37.038
  • and after a few weeksand a few months,
  • 00:23:37.038 --> 00:23:39.674
  • I was praying with tearsrolling down my face,
  • 00:23:39.674 --> 00:23:42.110
  • so, just start where you are,
  • 00:23:42.110 --> 00:23:44.279
  • and God will walkyou along the path.
  • 00:23:44.279 --> 00:23:46.047
  • (soft music)- [Lisa] Right?
  • 00:23:46.047 --> 00:23:47.215
  • - Yes.(soft music)
  • 00:23:47.215 --> 00:23:49.551
  • Let's pray.
  • 00:23:49.551 --> 00:23:51.219
  • Dear Heavenly Father, AbbaFather, we come before you,
  • 00:23:51.219 --> 00:23:54.489
  • (soft music)
  • 00:23:54.489 --> 00:23:55.724
  • Father, we ask you allthe time to forgive us,
  • 00:23:55.724 --> 00:23:58.660
  • (soft music)
  • 00:23:58.660 --> 00:23:59.995
  • we're asking you now toshow us how to forgive.
  • 00:23:59.995 --> 00:24:04.099
  • Father, all the hurtsand all of the wounds and
  • 00:24:05.500 --> 00:24:09.237
  • all of the boulders thatwe have carried around
  • 00:24:09.237 --> 00:24:12.207
  • from our past and fromthose that have injured us,
  • 00:24:12.207 --> 00:24:14.743
  • show us how to release those,
  • 00:24:14.743 --> 00:24:16.545
  • show us how to forgive thosewho trespass against us.
  • 00:24:16.545 --> 00:24:21.016
  • Lord, we want towalk in your light,
  • 00:24:22.150 --> 00:24:26.021
  • and we wanna walk in freedom,
  • 00:24:26.021 --> 00:24:27.722
  • and the only way wecan do that, Lord,
  • 00:24:27.722 --> 00:24:30.258
  • is to slough those thingsoff, so we lay them,
  • 00:24:30.258 --> 00:24:34.462
  • we come humbly and lay them
  • 00:24:34.462 --> 00:24:37.632
  • at the feet ofyour throne, Lord,
  • 00:24:37.632 --> 00:24:41.703
  • and we say we surrender them.- Yes.
  • 00:24:41.703 --> 00:24:44.439
  • - We surrender themto you, because
  • 00:24:44.439 --> 00:24:46.741
  • we can't do it anymore,we can't carry it anymore.
  • 00:24:46.741 --> 00:24:49.611
  • Thank you, Lord, for allthat you have done for us,
  • 00:24:51.079 --> 00:24:53.582
  • thank you for the supernaturalhealing that you are doing
  • 00:24:53.582 --> 00:24:56.785
  • and the forgivenessthat is being
  • 00:24:58.119 --> 00:25:00.455
  • (soft music)
  • 00:25:00.455 --> 00:25:01.957
  • all over this land and for theburdens that are being shed
  • 00:25:01.957 --> 00:25:06.761
  • in Jesus name we pray, Amen.
  • 00:25:06.761 --> 00:25:10.432
  • - Amen- Amen and Amen,
  • 00:25:10.432 --> 00:25:12.701
  • forgiveness is a choice y'all,let's make it more often.
  • 00:25:12.701 --> 00:25:16.504
  • We sure hope you know,
  • 00:25:16.504 --> 00:25:18.506
  • that our little "BetterTogether" girl gang is for you.
  • 00:25:18.506 --> 00:25:22.344
  • We are so for you.
  • 00:25:22.344 --> 00:25:24.012
  • It would be our joyand our privilege,
  • 00:25:24.012 --> 00:25:26.281
  • if you're in a difficult season,
  • 00:25:26.281 --> 00:25:27.816
  • to come alongbesides you and
  • 00:25:27.816 --> 00:25:29.451
  • so, will you please connectwith us on social media?
  • 00:25:29.451 --> 00:25:32.187
  • Let us know how we can pray
  • 00:25:32.187 --> 00:25:34.055
  • with you and for youand thank you so much
  • 00:25:34.055 --> 00:25:37.559
  • for carving out thetime in your day
  • 00:25:37.559 --> 00:25:39.327
  • to hang out with us hereat "Better Together".
  • 00:25:39.327 --> 00:25:41.663
  • Walking in truthis also a choice.
  • 00:25:41.663 --> 00:25:44.699
  • Tomorrow we get to talkabout how pursuing God's plan
  • 00:25:44.699 --> 00:25:48.737
  • and staying grounded in His Word
  • 00:25:48.737 --> 00:25:50.605
  • changes the course of our lives.
  • 00:25:50.605 --> 00:25:52.507
  • We've experiencedthat firsthand,
  • 00:25:52.507 --> 00:25:54.142
  • and I bet you have too, wecan't wait to see you tomorrow.
  • 00:25:54.142 --> 00:25:57.445
  • (soft music)
  • 00:25:57.445 --> 00:25:59.948