Better Together LIVE | Episode 102 | TBN

Better Together LIVE | Episode 102

Watch Better Together LIVE | Episode 102
September 8, 2020
26:00

Perfectionism; shame; and guilt are human responses to our mistakes. How can imperfect people learn to embrace the love of a perfect God? | TBN Prayer Line: 1-888-731-1000

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Better Together LIVE | Episode 102

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  • - We all make mistakesgoodness gracious.
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  • I wish I had a nickel foreveryone I've already met this
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  • week.
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  • But what happens when
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  • we as messy kids fall into thearms of our heavenly Father.
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  • Today, we're talking aboutwhat it means to be fully sin.
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  • I mean, fully sin
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  • and still perfectly lovedby our Creator Redeemer.
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  • Come on, join us.
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  • (soft music)
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  • When I was in college,back when dinosaurs roamed
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  • the earth and they were nosuch thing as cell phones,
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  • I was hot mess a mistake.
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  • I'm still hot mess a mistake,
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  • but I was really strugglingwhen I was in college between
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  • how the Christianlife played out,
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  • whether it was reallyfilled with delight
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  • or just dutiful kind of,
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  • I've just got todo the right thing.
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  • And when I graduatedfrom college,
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  • still really confused abouthow you could let Jesus and
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  • still have fun.
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  • A friend gave me this book.
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  • It is an oldie, but a goodie,
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  • it's called the Lion andlamb by Brennan Manning.
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  • The Relentless Tendernessof Jesus Christ.
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  • And this story that I readwhen I was 21 years old,
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  • it was the most redemptivebanana peel in my life.
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  • I slipped on this and reallyfell into the arms of God.
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  • Brennan Manning talksabout a guy named Ed,
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  • who was a pastor and he wasvisiting his uncle in Ireland on
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  • a summer vacation.
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  • And he says on that great day,
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  • Ed and his uncle got up early.
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  • It was before Dawn.
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  • They took a walk along theshores of Lake Killarney
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  • and stopped towatch the sunrise.
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  • They stood side by sidefor a full 20 minutes
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  • and then resumed walking.
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  • Ed glanced at his uncle andsaw that his face had broken
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  • into a broad smile.
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  • Ed said, Uncle Seamus,you look very happy.
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  • I am, and asked how comeand his uncle replied.
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  • The father of Jesusis very fond of me.
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  • I remember reading that as a21 year old woman who had been
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  • walking with Jesussince I was a kid,
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  • I gave my life to Christ.
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  • After my real dad left us foranother woman and her child
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  • and my dad's leaving, our family
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  • had just devastatedme and not long after
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  • he left, I was just betweenfive and six years old.
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  • I was in a church and thepastor started talking about how
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  • our heavenly Father, asa dad who never abandons
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  • his children.
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  • And I remember theysaying just as I am
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  • they told him probably
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  • 15 times.
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  • And I was hanging onto the backof a wooden piece for those
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  • of you under 40, thoseare long wooden benches
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  • we used to sit on in church.
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  • And I remember hangingon the back of a pew
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  • and then I was justcompelled to go forward
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  • and talk to Brother Jimmy,because I really wanted
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  • a dad who wouldn't walk away.
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  • And that's when I gavemy heart to Jesus.
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  • But over the next, 10, 12 years,
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  • I thought it was all aboutme being a good girl.
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  • I knew God had saved me.
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  • I just didn't thinkHe liked me very much.
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  • And it wasn't until I was inmy early twenties that I really
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  • began to wrestle with.
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  • Could the perfectKing of the universe,
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  • the God who breathedus into existence,
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  • actually be fond of aflawed girl like me.
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  • Y'all that is the bedrock truth of the gospel.
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  • That's why thegospel was good news.
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  • And that's what we'retalking about today.
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  • We're talking about God's truth,
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  • how he is so very fond of us
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  • versus the lies that someof us have labored under
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  • that we're not good enough.
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  • - Wow, I so relate to that Lisa
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  • and I remember reading thatvery same book and being
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  • struck by that verysame illustration,
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  • because even though I grew upin the West Coast of Scotland,
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  • you can tell by my accent,that now, I live in Texas,
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  • I didn't start here.
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  • And, I grew up with aprofound sense of shame
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  • after my father's suicide.
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  • I just felt like not thatI'd done something wrong,
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  • but I was something wrong.
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  • And I wanted so much to be theperfect Christian so that God
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  • wouldn't stop loving me.
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  • Cause my thinking is,
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  • if your earthly father couldseem to hate you in the end as
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  • possible that God could too.
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  • And so I went toseminary, I trained there.
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  • Then I joined Youth for Christ.
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  • Then it was fiveyears as co-host
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  • in a program calledThe 700 Club.
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  • But, I'll never forget the day
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  • when I finallykind of fell apart.
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  • I could not holdaltogether any longer.
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  • And by that evening,
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  • I was in the locked wardof a psychiatric hospital,
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  • the same age as my dad
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  • and all the big prayers I'dprayed through all my life.
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  • I had nothing left,the only two words
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  • that I could squeeze outwere, help me, help me.
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  • And I have to tellyou, I've never
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  • up until that pointexperienced that great fondness
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  • of God lavished upon me.
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  • It was like, I discoveredthe truth of Psalm 34.
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  • The Lord is closeto the brokenhearted
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  • and saves those who are crushed.
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  • Sometimes the very thing thatyou think is the end of your
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  • life is actually thebeginning of you understanding
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  • this outrageous love ofGod that smiles at us,
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  • even when we're on our faces,
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  • it's life changing.
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  • - That's right.
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  • - Yeah.
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  • - It's totally life changing.
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  • And I think so many of us grewup in a performance oriented
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  • culture and we wanted toperform our way to perfection
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  • and hide away the shame andthe things that we did that we
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  • weren't proud of then.
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  • So it, isn't surprisingthat when we come
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  • into the presence of the Lord,
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  • that we take that history andthat lens of which we saw our
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  • parents and the relationshipthat we had with our parents.
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  • And for those that have hadfathers that abandoned them,
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  • or in your case, Sheila,
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  • your father committed suicideand Lisa your father left.
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  • We take the relationshipthat we had there,
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  • and we overlay it, with therelationship that we think we're
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  • supposed to have with ourfather and in that woundedness.
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  • And in those hurts, webegin to see the way we want
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  • to be seen, instead of theway we want God to see us.
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  • There is such a perfection,
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  • such an unbelievablelove that He has for us.
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  • We can't take any of thoseissues from our childhood,
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  • and overlay it.
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  • It is a perfect relationship.
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  • And sometimes I think whenwe read the word of God,
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  • we do it somewhat like wedo when we read an email,
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  • we read it in the tone ofthe moment that we're in,
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  • as opposed to what theperson that is writing
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  • it is saying to us.
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  • And God says to us, come to me.
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  • I will be your healer.
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  • I will be your provider.
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  • I will love you withthe lavish love.
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  • And I accept youfor who you are.
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  • You can't performyour way to goodness.
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  • - Right.
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  • I love you and I acceptyou unconditionally.
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  • - That is so good.
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  • - Because theunconditional part,
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  • I think that's where westruggle with embracing.
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  • I think that one of the biggestmisconceptions about God is
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  • the concept of His holiness.
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  • So when we say, God is Holy,
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  • we think that this is somebeing who is untouchable,
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  • but that's justthat God is whole,
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  • and it's an invitation
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  • that we can also findwholeness in him.
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  • In my teenage years, Istruggled with pornography.
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  • And I remember thatbefore I would watch it.
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  • I would sense the Holy spirittelling me don't do this.
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  • And that will be like, Lord,
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  • you don't have to be here, okay.
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  • And I was still go ahead.
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  • And I would feel thepresence of God with me.
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  • And I'm like, Lord,why are you here?
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  • You should not be here.
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  • There's so many thingsin the world to do.
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  • Why are you here?
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  • And when I started embracingthat his presence was actually
  • 00:08:39.809 --> 00:08:44.614
  • the presence of his love.
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  • It was saying, Stephanie,
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  • I know everything about you.
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  • And this one puzzle pieceis not what I define you by.
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  • I see the full picture, thefull essence of who you are.
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  • And I am madly in love with you.
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  • It was the embrace of God'slove in those moments,
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  • that motivated change.
  • 00:09:01.897 --> 00:09:03.432
  • I said, Lord, if I have a fatherwho is this crazy about me,
  • 00:09:03.432 --> 00:09:07.536
  • even in the Psalms,
  • 00:09:07.536 --> 00:09:08.971
  • David said, who is man,
  • 00:09:08.971 --> 00:09:10.406
  • that you are mindful of him.
  • 00:09:10.406 --> 00:09:12.308
  • It was that question again,
  • 00:09:12.308 --> 00:09:13.876
  • that who are we that youthink so highly of us.
  • 00:09:13.876 --> 00:09:17.380
  • Who, like show me really?
  • 00:09:17.380 --> 00:09:19.682
  • What am I missingabout this picture.
  • 00:09:19.682 --> 00:09:21.884
  • And it was the love of Godthat motivated me to say, Lord,
  • 00:09:21.884 --> 00:09:24.920
  • I wanna representyou in the best way.
  • 00:09:24.920 --> 00:09:27.690
  • You love me this much.
  • 00:09:27.690 --> 00:09:29.191
  • I wanna show the worldhow much I also love you.
  • 00:09:29.191 --> 00:09:32.294
  • And it was through thosemoments that I even learned the
  • 00:09:32.294 --> 00:09:34.830
  • difference betweenguilt and conviction.
  • 00:09:34.830 --> 00:09:37.233
  • Because when I embrace the loveof God at what I understood
  • 00:09:37.233 --> 00:09:40.903
  • was that God you're showing me.
  • 00:09:40.903 --> 00:09:42.705
  • It's not about, what'swrong to please you.
  • 00:09:42.705 --> 00:09:45.608
  • It's about what isagainst who I really am.
  • 00:09:45.608 --> 00:09:48.210
  • And so there's the embrace of,
  • 00:09:48.210 --> 00:09:50.046
  • there is a truth thatI'm running away from,
  • 00:09:50.046 --> 00:09:52.682
  • and that I'm convictedbecause I recognize Stephanie,
  • 00:09:52.682 --> 00:09:55.584
  • this is not even you.
  • 00:09:55.584 --> 00:09:56.919
  • And I think thatmany people watching,
  • 00:09:56.919 --> 00:09:58.721
  • we deal with guilt andeven in guilt in itself,
  • 00:09:58.721 --> 00:10:02.591
  • it says that I needto perform for God.
  • 00:10:02.591 --> 00:10:04.960
  • And I believe that thatis very counterproductive
  • 00:10:04.960 --> 00:10:07.363
  • because I'm not gonnabe motivated to perform
  • 00:10:07.363 --> 00:10:10.966
  • for someone who will notaccept me, even at my worst.
  • 00:10:10.966 --> 00:10:13.703
  • And I feel like that's why wefind ourselves dealing with
  • 00:10:13.703 --> 00:10:16.872
  • the same battles,with the same things
  • 00:10:16.872 --> 00:10:19.141
  • in this revolving doorof shame and guilt,
  • 00:10:19.141 --> 00:10:22.044
  • because we have notembraced that God,
  • 00:10:22.044 --> 00:10:24.447
  • you love me unconditionally.
  • 00:10:24.447 --> 00:10:27.083
  • Every part of meyou are crazy about.
  • 00:10:27.083 --> 00:10:29.185
  • And then from that place,I am motivated to change.
  • 00:10:29.185 --> 00:10:32.621
  • - Wow, that's so good.
  • 00:10:32.621 --> 00:10:34.490
  • When I was 19 years old iswhen I came to know the Lord
  • 00:10:34.490 --> 00:10:37.993
  • and it was me and myutter brokenness just fall
  • 00:10:37.993 --> 00:10:41.630
  • into the face of God.
  • 00:10:41.630 --> 00:10:43.099
  • And it was where I felt likeGod wrapped his arms around me.
  • 00:10:43.099 --> 00:10:45.668
  • I had an incredible earthlyfather who was very gracious to
  • 00:10:45.668 --> 00:10:49.538
  • me, very loving to me and wasan incredible father to me.
  • 00:10:49.538 --> 00:10:53.743
  • And yet, even in that,
  • 00:10:53.743 --> 00:10:55.411
  • I just, I think I did exactly
  • 00:10:55.411 --> 00:10:57.613
  • what you're talking about, isI tried to work my way to God.
  • 00:10:57.613 --> 00:11:00.716
  • I remember being feeling soscrewed up that I remember
  • 00:11:00.716 --> 00:11:03.753
  • saying to him, you probablydon't want me anymore.
  • 00:11:03.753 --> 00:11:06.489
  • See, I'm no longer the goodgirl that I used to be.
  • 00:11:06.489 --> 00:11:09.225
  • I'm now this messed up personand you don't want me anymore.
  • 00:11:09.225 --> 00:11:12.661
  • And I remember him justso gently telling me,
  • 00:11:12.661 --> 00:11:15.331
  • I want you and I love you.
  • 00:11:15.331 --> 00:11:17.299
  • And then I got married and Ithought marriage would solve
  • 00:11:17.299 --> 00:11:20.269
  • all of my problems.
  • 00:11:20.269 --> 00:11:21.837
  • Cause I would be in a lovingrelationship and everything
  • 00:11:21.837 --> 00:11:23.439
  • would be great and everythingwas way more magnified.
  • 00:11:23.439 --> 00:11:27.777
  • And I was a couple years in amarriage and a lot of things
  • 00:11:27.777 --> 00:11:30.379
  • had happened.
  • 00:11:30.379 --> 00:11:31.180
  • I was on birth control
  • 00:11:31.180 --> 00:11:32.314
  • and I gained a lot of weight
  • 00:11:32.314 --> 00:11:33.749
  • and just my hair was fallingout, like a lot of my,
  • 00:11:33.749 --> 00:11:36.385
  • where I had found myidentity was stripped.
  • 00:11:36.385 --> 00:11:38.854
  • And I rememberbeing really broken.
  • 00:11:38.854 --> 00:11:40.489
  • I was sitting infront of a mirror.
  • 00:11:40.489 --> 00:11:42.358
  • I remember just telling theLord, how do you love this.
  • 00:11:42.358 --> 00:11:45.561
  • She's falling apart.
  • 00:11:45.561 --> 00:11:46.862
  • She's not a good wife.
  • 00:11:46.862 --> 00:11:48.364
  • She's not a good person,like she's falling apart.
  • 00:11:48.364 --> 00:11:51.000
  • How in the world do youlove all of my pieces.
  • 00:11:51.000 --> 00:11:53.435
  • And He said, becauseI created you.
  • 00:11:53.435 --> 00:11:55.638
  • And I just remember that moment.
  • 00:11:55.638 --> 00:11:57.406
  • He gave me these threesimple words and he said,
  • 00:11:57.406 --> 00:11:59.809
  • let grace rule.
  • 00:11:59.809 --> 00:12:01.410
  • And I thought,what in the world?
  • 00:12:01.410 --> 00:12:04.079
  • But immediately I knew he meant
  • 00:12:04.079 --> 00:12:05.714
  • let grace reign in your heart.
  • 00:12:05.714 --> 00:12:08.250
  • Stop looking at yourselfin a judgment way.
  • 00:12:08.250 --> 00:12:10.886
  • Stop looking at thepeople around you,
  • 00:12:10.886 --> 00:12:13.289
  • what you do in a judging way.
  • 00:12:13.289 --> 00:12:15.424
  • Start allowing grace to rule.
  • 00:12:15.424 --> 00:12:17.293
  • And it gave me thepower to be a wife.
  • 00:12:17.293 --> 00:12:20.329
  • It gave me the powerto be a hotter,
  • 00:12:20.329 --> 00:12:22.164
  • gave me the power tobe a friend to others
  • 00:12:22.164 --> 00:12:24.700
  • because he spoke tome in that moment,
  • 00:12:24.700 --> 00:12:26.969
  • truth that I needed inall of my brokenness,
  • 00:12:26.969 --> 00:12:29.939
  • that he loved me enough.
  • 00:12:29.939 --> 00:12:31.373
  • And he said, let graceroll it rain in your heart,
  • 00:12:31.373 --> 00:12:34.643
  • because you're tearing yourselfdown more than I ever would.
  • 00:12:34.643 --> 00:12:37.680
  • And I just remember it beingso embraced by the Father's
  • 00:12:37.680 --> 00:12:41.417
  • arms and that momentand feeling truth,
  • 00:12:41.417 --> 00:12:43.919
  • overwhelmed me that grace couldbe the reigning place in my
  • 00:12:43.919 --> 00:12:47.923
  • heart and in my mind.
  • 00:12:47.923 --> 00:12:49.758
  • - I love that yousaid that Elaine.
  • 00:12:49.758 --> 00:12:52.027
  • I think so often Christianityand Christians have a false
  • 00:12:52.027 --> 00:12:56.665
  • idea of what humility is.
  • 00:12:56.665 --> 00:12:59.068
  • And we think godly humilityis to make ourselves less.
  • 00:12:59.068 --> 00:13:03.572
  • And that's not at all howGod describes humility.
  • 00:13:03.572 --> 00:13:07.076
  • Humility is notshame-based behavior.
  • 00:13:07.076 --> 00:13:10.446
  • Humility is seeing God bigger.
  • 00:13:10.446 --> 00:13:13.415
  • We actually stand up straighterwith our shoulders straight
  • 00:13:13.415 --> 00:13:17.486
  • in our heads lifted to
  • 00:13:17.486 --> 00:13:19.121
  • this God who lovesus no matter what.
  • 00:13:19.121 --> 00:13:22.124
  • As Stephanie said, Idrove Missy to school.
  • 00:13:22.124 --> 00:13:25.461
  • The other day, her schoolis just started back
  • 00:13:25.461 --> 00:13:28.097
  • with social distancing in place.
  • 00:13:28.097 --> 00:13:29.632
  • She's in a little small school.
  • 00:13:29.632 --> 00:13:30.799
  • There's only 12 kids to a class.
  • 00:13:30.799 --> 00:13:32.434
  • So they're able to do itbased on COVID guidelines.
  • 00:13:32.434 --> 00:13:35.337
  • But we haven't been thereof course since March.
  • 00:13:35.337 --> 00:13:37.406
  • And so it's beenall these months.
  • 00:13:37.406 --> 00:13:39.074
  • I have definitelygained at least COVID-19
  • 00:13:39.074 --> 00:13:42.745
  • because I've been carb-loading
  • 00:13:42.745 --> 00:13:44.346
  • as I've had this timeof aloneness with God.
  • 00:13:44.346 --> 00:13:48.150
  • And He and I alonehave had lots of chips
  • 00:13:48.150 --> 00:13:50.452
  • in case so and one of herlittle classmates looked at me
  • 00:13:50.452 --> 00:13:53.756
  • and very innocently, shemeant nothing unkind,
  • 00:13:53.756 --> 00:13:57.760
  • but one of Mrs. Littleclassmates went,
  • 00:13:57.760 --> 00:13:59.895
  • oh, Ms. Lisa, are you pregnant?
  • 00:13:59.895 --> 00:14:02.698
  • And I was like, well, no, that,
  • 00:14:02.698 --> 00:14:05.634
  • that would have definitely been,
  • 00:14:05.634 --> 00:14:07.136
  • I haven't had a date in years.
  • 00:14:07.136 --> 00:14:09.204
  • So that would havebeen just shocking.
  • 00:14:09.204 --> 00:14:11.974
  • And, I probably shouldhave been embarrassed
  • 00:14:11.974 --> 00:14:15.911
  • that this little kidlooked at me with
  • 00:14:15.911 --> 00:14:17.980
  • my fluffy coven self andthought I was pregnant.
  • 00:14:17.980 --> 00:14:22.985
  • But as I got in the car todrive away from her school,
  • 00:14:24.420 --> 00:14:26.155
  • I sense the Lord, cause whydoes a shame thing for me.
  • 00:14:26.155 --> 00:14:30.192
  • Very easily could havepressed on that shame bruise
  • 00:14:30.192 --> 00:14:32.695
  • and my spirit.
  • 00:14:32.695 --> 00:14:34.196
  • But it's like I heard theLord through His spirit say,
  • 00:14:34.196 --> 00:14:37.666
  • Lisa, you don't have to holdyour stomach in with me.
  • 00:14:37.666 --> 00:14:40.636
  • I love you just the way you are.
  • 00:14:40.636 --> 00:14:43.138
  • And I was just takenaback by his kindness.
  • 00:14:43.138 --> 00:14:46.375
  • I don't think wetake God at his word.
  • 00:14:46.375 --> 00:14:50.612
  • I think most of us believeGod is happier with us
  • 00:14:50.612 --> 00:14:55.617
  • when we're performing well.
  • 00:14:56.485 --> 00:14:57.886
  • As Loriann said toactually rest in the fact
  • 00:14:57.886 --> 00:15:02.458
  • that he loves us as muchon our, what we would call
  • 00:15:03.892 --> 00:15:06.328
  • a bad day as hedoes on a good day.
  • 00:15:06.328 --> 00:15:08.230
  • And I'm not at all sayingsin is no big deal.
  • 00:15:08.230 --> 00:15:11.533
  • Sin separates us fromintimacy with God.
  • 00:15:11.533 --> 00:15:14.570
  • So I'm not saying,
  • 00:15:14.570 --> 00:15:15.771
  • oh, keep partying, keepdoing unholy things.
  • 00:15:15.771 --> 00:15:19.608
  • But I'm saying as we getcloser and closer to Jesus
  • 00:15:19.608 --> 00:15:23.946
  • and believe bigger andbigger that he adores us.
  • 00:15:23.946 --> 00:15:28.751
  • We actually will get Holy.
  • 00:15:28.751 --> 00:15:30.552
  • We'll want to bemore like Jesus,
  • 00:15:30.552 --> 00:15:34.723
  • but us becoming Holy isnot about us behaving.
  • 00:15:34.723 --> 00:15:38.193
  • It's actually about usbelieving more fully
  • 00:15:38.193 --> 00:15:42.331
  • that the God of the universethinks we're the bomb.
  • 00:15:42.331 --> 00:15:45.634
  • - Loved that I was thinkingabout all the years
  • 00:15:45.634 --> 00:15:48.771
  • when we traveled together,
  • 00:15:48.771 --> 00:15:50.205
  • Lisa with women of faith.
  • 00:15:50.205 --> 00:15:51.740
  • And when, when I started,Christian was six weeks old
  • 00:15:51.740 --> 00:15:54.209
  • and he's now 23.
  • 00:15:54.209 --> 00:15:55.711
  • But I have this picturethe other day of sometimes
  • 00:15:55.711 --> 00:15:59.081
  • when we were flying home andhe was like seven or eight
  • 00:15:59.081 --> 00:16:02.317
  • and he would be tired
  • 00:16:02.317 --> 00:16:03.585
  • and he'd be marchingthrough the airport
  • 00:16:03.585 --> 00:16:05.054
  • with his little Thomasthe Tank Engine Backpack.
  • 00:16:05.054 --> 00:16:06.989
  • And then every now and again,
  • 00:16:06.989 --> 00:16:08.457
  • he would just stop and hewould just raise his arms up.
  • 00:16:08.457 --> 00:16:11.126
  • And I knew he didn'thave to say a word.
  • 00:16:11.126 --> 00:16:13.762
  • I knew he was saying, I'mtired then I would pick him up.
  • 00:16:13.762 --> 00:16:18.267
  • Do you know thatevery single day now,
  • 00:16:18.267 --> 00:16:21.170
  • Sundays two or threetimes a day, I go outside,
  • 00:16:21.170 --> 00:16:24.406
  • on my little balcony.
  • 00:16:24.406 --> 00:16:25.541
  • And I go like that.
  • 00:16:25.541 --> 00:16:26.475
  • - Right.
  • 00:16:26.475 --> 00:16:27.976
  • - And it's not honestlyeven as an act of worship,
  • 00:16:27.976 --> 00:16:29.645
  • it's an act of totaldependence on my Father.
  • 00:16:29.645 --> 00:16:34.316
  • Cause I don't have all theanswers and I don't always know
  • 00:16:34.316 --> 00:16:37.352
  • exactly what's going tohappen, but I have this.
  • 00:16:37.352 --> 00:16:39.855
  • And it took me, I mean,
  • 00:16:39.855 --> 00:16:41.056
  • I give my life toChrist when I was 11.
  • 00:16:41.056 --> 00:16:42.558
  • I'm now 64.
  • 00:16:42.558 --> 00:16:44.293
  • So that's a lot of yearsof the Lord's faithfulness.
  • 00:16:44.293 --> 00:16:46.829
  • But I am utterly convinced now
  • 00:16:46.829 --> 00:16:50.165
  • that when I raised myarm, he's like come on,
  • 00:16:50.165 --> 00:16:53.035
  • I've got this.
  • 00:16:53.035 --> 00:16:54.603
  • - Yeah.
  • 00:16:54.603 --> 00:16:55.804
  • - Somebody justswallow the cheetah,
  • 00:16:55.804 --> 00:16:57.239
  • When you said I'm 64.
  • 00:16:57.239 --> 00:17:00.008
  • I always think ofPsalm 34 where says,
  • 00:17:00.008 --> 00:17:03.545
  • radiant as the face ofthose who look to the Lord,
  • 00:17:03.545 --> 00:17:06.748
  • that's what youremind me of, Sheila.
  • 00:17:06.748 --> 00:17:08.283
  • It's like no stinkingway you're 64.
  • 00:17:08.283 --> 00:17:10.452
  • That is the radiance of knowingthat you are loved by God.
  • 00:17:10.452 --> 00:17:13.956
  • - I completelyconcur I was shocked,
  • 00:17:16.225 --> 00:17:18.760
  • shocked when you just said64, but to dovetail on that,
  • 00:17:18.760 --> 00:17:22.498
  • Sheila, at the beginningof this whole COVID thing,
  • 00:17:22.498 --> 00:17:26.135
  • I sit on a number of corporateboards and we've been dealing
  • 00:17:26.135 --> 00:17:29.171
  • with a number of very,very difficult questions
  • 00:17:29.171 --> 00:17:32.474
  • and how to takecompanies forward.
  • 00:17:32.474 --> 00:17:34.610
  • And I had just beenparticularly depleted
  • 00:17:34.610 --> 00:17:37.779
  • at the end of one day.
  • 00:17:37.779 --> 00:17:39.248
  • And I picked up our aphone and called our dear
  • 00:17:39.248 --> 00:17:41.750
  • friend, Christine Kane.
  • 00:17:41.750 --> 00:17:42.951
  • And I am not a crierand neither she,
  • 00:17:42.951 --> 00:17:46.221
  • and I'm not exactly surewhy I called Christine
  • 00:17:46.221 --> 00:17:48.257
  • because she was notvery empathetic.
  • 00:17:48.257 --> 00:17:50.325
  • But I said, I'm just done.
  • 00:17:50.325 --> 00:17:53.028
  • I'm just completely depleted.
  • 00:17:53.028 --> 00:17:55.130
  • And I started crying,
  • 00:17:55.130 --> 00:17:56.832
  • which she had never heard mecry in 12 years of relationship
  • 00:17:56.832 --> 00:18:01.837
  • with her.
  • 00:18:02.437 --> 00:18:03.906
  • And she said, well, you'revery much like Elijah,
  • 00:18:03.906 --> 00:18:06.575
  • go eat, take care of yourself.
  • 00:18:06.575 --> 00:18:09.945
  • Get some rest,
  • 00:18:11.513 --> 00:18:12.948
  • get up and go stop feelingsorry for yourself.
  • 00:18:12.948 --> 00:18:15.751
  • But I find it very interestinghow we will have that
  • 00:18:15.751 --> 00:18:20.189
  • unabandoned discussion anddialogue with a friend.
  • 00:18:20.189 --> 00:18:25.194
  • But yet we feel reticentto do that with God.
  • 00:18:26.328 --> 00:18:29.831
  • - Yeah.
  • 00:18:29.831 --> 00:18:31.366
  • So for me, I know I came froma very liturgical background,
  • 00:18:31.366 --> 00:18:35.470
  • but yet when I go to God,
  • 00:18:35.470 --> 00:18:37.439
  • I feel like I need to say theeand thou and shall and wilt.
  • 00:18:37.439 --> 00:18:42.444
  • I mean, I want to goto God, like you said,
  • 00:18:43.612 --> 00:18:47.249
  • and just lift up my armsand say, heavenly Father,
  • 00:18:47.249 --> 00:18:50.652
  • just lift me up.
  • 00:18:50.652 --> 00:18:52.888
  • I can't do thisanymore on my own.
  • 00:18:52.888 --> 00:18:55.791
  • So I want to know Stephanie,
  • 00:18:55.791 --> 00:18:57.459
  • it would be interesting to hear
  • 00:18:57.459 --> 00:18:58.560
  • from your perspectiveas a pastor
  • 00:18:58.560 --> 00:19:00.596
  • and not from somebody that'sin the corporate world like me.
  • 00:19:00.596 --> 00:19:04.833
  • How do you counsel people aroundjust laying it at the foot
  • 00:19:04.833 --> 00:19:09.471
  • of the Lord and just liftingyour arms and saying,
  • 00:19:09.471 --> 00:19:11.707
  • oh, the Father take me.
  • 00:19:11.707 --> 00:19:13.308
  • - What I love is that justeven from the conversation,
  • 00:19:14.776 --> 00:19:17.346
  • talking about ourrelationship with God
  • 00:19:17.346 --> 00:19:19.214
  • is that he's a friend andmany times just like you said,
  • 00:19:19.214 --> 00:19:23.285
  • we find more comfort in reachingout to maybe the friends
  • 00:19:23.285 --> 00:19:27.389
  • that we have in the natural,
  • 00:19:27.389 --> 00:19:29.258
  • then reaching out to our Father.
  • 00:19:29.258 --> 00:19:30.826
  • And for me, what Ialways encourage people
  • 00:19:30.826 --> 00:19:33.328
  • is that the same waythat you build intimacy.
  • 00:19:33.328 --> 00:19:36.231
  • I always tell people your bestfriend and think about how
  • 00:19:36.231 --> 00:19:39.568
  • they became your bestfriend, there were moments,
  • 00:19:39.568 --> 00:19:42.004
  • there were intentional momentsthat were used to build
  • 00:19:42.004 --> 00:19:45.374
  • intimacy, intentional,private moments.
  • 00:19:45.374 --> 00:19:47.909
  • You opened up, youshare things to them
  • 00:19:47.909 --> 00:19:49.845
  • that you haven'tshared to anyone else.
  • 00:19:49.845 --> 00:19:51.780
  • And I said, thinkabout God like that.
  • 00:19:51.780 --> 00:19:54.583
  • God wants to be your friend.
  • 00:19:54.583 --> 00:19:56.018
  • God wants to beyour best friend.
  • 00:19:56.018 --> 00:19:58.487
  • If you open up to him,if you are intentional
  • 00:19:58.487 --> 00:20:01.857
  • about the relationship,
  • 00:20:01.857 --> 00:20:03.392
  • if you're intentional about howyou build that relationship,
  • 00:20:03.392 --> 00:20:06.595
  • you see many often, Ialways hear people say like,
  • 00:20:06.595 --> 00:20:09.197
  • I talked to Godthroughout my day
  • 00:20:09.197 --> 00:20:10.999
  • and I'm like, that's great.
  • 00:20:10.999 --> 00:20:12.701
  • But there should be thisestablishing point in your day
  • 00:20:12.701 --> 00:20:15.804
  • that kind of just setsyour whole day where you're
  • 00:20:15.804 --> 00:20:19.041
  • interacting with him.
  • 00:20:19.041 --> 00:20:20.309
  • And for me, thatestablishing point
  • 00:20:20.309 --> 00:20:21.910
  • is a point where thereis no distractions.
  • 00:20:21.910 --> 00:20:24.546
  • It's just you andyour Dad to realize
  • 00:20:24.546 --> 00:20:27.849
  • that it's personal to you.
  • 00:20:27.849 --> 00:20:29.351
  • This is not just theGod of the universe.
  • 00:20:29.351 --> 00:20:31.720
  • This is my God.
  • 00:20:31.720 --> 00:20:33.188
  • This is my Father.
  • 00:20:33.188 --> 00:20:34.456
  • This is my Daddy.
  • 00:20:34.456 --> 00:20:35.957
  • And so just understandthat as a child,
  • 00:20:35.957 --> 00:20:38.827
  • there was somethingincredible that happened.
  • 00:20:38.827 --> 00:20:40.929
  • My father was murderedwhen I was a baby.
  • 00:20:40.929 --> 00:20:42.964
  • And so when I would watchother fathers with their
  • 00:20:42.964 --> 00:20:45.567
  • daughters, there was one thing,
  • 00:20:45.567 --> 00:20:47.302
  • especially in themovies I always desired.
  • 00:20:47.302 --> 00:20:50.238
  • And it will be when afather would pick up there,
  • 00:20:50.238 --> 00:20:52.474
  • there and spin them around.
  • 00:20:52.474 --> 00:20:54.309
  • And I would just go to the Lord
  • 00:20:54.309 --> 00:20:56.144
  • because I encounteredGod at nine.
  • 00:20:56.144 --> 00:20:58.146
  • And I would be in mypersonal time as a kid.
  • 00:20:58.146 --> 00:21:00.615
  • And I said, Dad, Iwanna be picked up.
  • 00:21:00.615 --> 00:21:03.585
  • Who's gonna pick me up.
  • 00:21:03.585 --> 00:21:05.120
  • Who's gonna spin me around.
  • 00:21:05.120 --> 00:21:07.322
  • And there was saythat I had a dream.
  • 00:21:07.322 --> 00:21:09.925
  • That honestly wasnot even a dream,
  • 00:21:09.925 --> 00:21:11.927
  • even though it cameby the way of a dream.
  • 00:21:11.927 --> 00:21:13.929
  • And the father picked meup, I couldn't see his face.
  • 00:21:13.929 --> 00:21:17.599
  • It was just too much lightwe were in this garden.
  • 00:21:17.599 --> 00:21:20.736
  • It was the most beautiful gardenexperience I've ever seen.
  • 00:21:20.736 --> 00:21:23.972
  • The flowers were singing.
  • 00:21:23.972 --> 00:21:25.273
  • Everything was alive,the colors everything.
  • 00:21:25.273 --> 00:21:28.043
  • And he picked me up and hebegins and to spin me around
  • 00:21:28.043 --> 00:21:32.080
  • and I was crying in the dream.
  • 00:21:32.080 --> 00:21:35.183
  • And I remember I wokeup with tears in my eyes
  • 00:21:35.183 --> 00:21:38.353
  • and I said, you are my dad.
  • 00:21:38.353 --> 00:21:40.555
  • And that's what peopleneed to remember.
  • 00:21:40.555 --> 00:21:42.958
  • It's not five stepsto intimacy the first
  • 00:21:42.958 --> 00:21:46.027
  • and the main thing is knowingthat the God you serve
  • 00:21:46.027 --> 00:21:50.665
  • is a personalrelationship with you.
  • 00:21:50.665 --> 00:21:54.202
  • He is your father.
  • 00:21:54.202 --> 00:21:55.737
  • And when we understand that
  • 00:21:55.737 --> 00:21:57.539
  • He is one thatwill not judge you.
  • 00:21:57.539 --> 00:21:59.141
  • He is for you, he wantsto see you be the best you
  • 00:21:59.141 --> 00:22:02.511
  • and I just want to encouragesomebody watching right now.
  • 00:22:02.511 --> 00:22:05.347
  • You need to know thatHe is your Father.
  • 00:22:05.347 --> 00:22:07.749
  • If you have questionsfor Him, you can ask Him.
  • 00:22:07.749 --> 00:22:10.986
  • If you're frustrated with Him,
  • 00:22:10.986 --> 00:22:12.687
  • you can let Him knowhe is the truth.
  • 00:22:12.687 --> 00:22:15.257
  • Truth means that there isunderstanding God does not want
  • 00:22:15.257 --> 00:22:18.326
  • you living in ignoranceor living in confusion.
  • 00:22:18.326 --> 00:22:21.830
  • You can bring everything to Him.
  • 00:22:21.830 --> 00:22:24.166
  • And in that place,there is healing.
  • 00:22:24.166 --> 00:22:26.134
  • And that's theinvitation to holiness.
  • 00:22:26.134 --> 00:22:29.304
  • - That is so good.
  • 00:22:29.304 --> 00:22:31.206
  • I'm reminded of a time.
  • 00:22:31.206 --> 00:22:32.707
  • I was sitting in my kitchenand my phone rang and my best
  • 00:22:32.707 --> 00:22:35.844
  • friend was calling and I pickedit up and she is bursting
  • 00:22:35.844 --> 00:22:39.181
  • into tears that she said,are you ready for tonight?
  • 00:22:39.181 --> 00:22:41.750
  • And I said, no you.
  • 00:22:41.750 --> 00:22:43.285
  • We were getting readyfor, is our small group.
  • 00:22:43.285 --> 00:22:46.521
  • But our small group decidedthat we needed to bring food.
  • 00:22:46.521 --> 00:22:49.791
  • And neither one of us weregifted in the kitchen.
  • 00:22:49.791 --> 00:22:52.694
  • So to us, it was the biggeststress point we could have.
  • 00:22:52.694 --> 00:22:56.031
  • And I remember we both justsat on our kitchen floors,
  • 00:22:56.031 --> 00:22:58.500
  • crying, like,
  • 00:22:58.500 --> 00:22:59.434
  • how are we gonna cook something?
  • 00:22:59.434 --> 00:23:00.902
  • Or how can we packagea store bought,
  • 00:23:00.902 --> 00:23:03.605
  • something to make it look likewe were good in the kitchen.
  • 00:23:03.605 --> 00:23:06.308
  • And I remembergetting off the phone,
  • 00:23:06.308 --> 00:23:08.610
  • we talked later that night,
  • 00:23:08.610 --> 00:23:10.045
  • we were laughing about howsilly it was that we were in the
  • 00:23:10.045 --> 00:23:12.347
  • kitchen, crying on the floorabout the mess of this life.
  • 00:23:12.347 --> 00:23:16.151
  • And I remember she saying,
  • 00:23:16.151 --> 00:23:18.153
  • what would it have been better,
  • 00:23:18.153 --> 00:23:19.588
  • if we would have asked Godwhat He thought of that moment?
  • 00:23:19.588 --> 00:23:21.990
  • And I was like, why are yougoing spiritual right now?
  • 00:23:21.990 --> 00:23:24.926
  • We're just sort of gotthe store bought cookies,
  • 00:23:24.926 --> 00:23:26.795
  • like I don't understand.
  • 00:23:26.795 --> 00:23:28.096
  • And she said, we bothcalled each other
  • 00:23:28.096 --> 00:23:30.332
  • and said, why didGod make me this way?
  • 00:23:30.332 --> 00:23:32.300
  • That we're not giftedin the kitchen?
  • 00:23:32.300 --> 00:23:34.202
  • And she goes, whydidn't we ask God,
  • 00:23:34.703 --> 00:23:37.339
  • why did He create us that way?
  • 00:23:37.339 --> 00:23:39.174
  • And I said, I don't know.
  • 00:23:39.174 --> 00:23:40.408
  • I said, I guess I didn'twanna know His answer.
  • 00:23:40.408 --> 00:23:42.744
  • So I got in the carand I burst into tears
  • 00:23:42.744 --> 00:23:45.180
  • and I said, God, why didyou create me that way?
  • 00:23:45.180 --> 00:23:47.349
  • And He said, well, becauseI have other things.
  • 00:23:47.349 --> 00:23:49.885
  • And He just pouredhis heart out into me.
  • 00:23:49.885 --> 00:23:51.920
  • And I remember thatnight He said, Elaine,
  • 00:23:51.920 --> 00:23:53.889
  • if you'll treat melike your best friend
  • 00:23:53.889 --> 00:23:56.224
  • and you'll call me and yourpain and in your frustration,
  • 00:23:56.224 --> 00:24:00.328
  • when the moments that you justlay out on your kitchen floor
  • 00:24:00.328 --> 00:24:02.964
  • and say, God why in theworld am I in this situation.
  • 00:24:02.964 --> 00:24:05.834
  • If you'll call me, I'll deliveryou and I'll speak into you.
  • 00:24:05.834 --> 00:24:09.704
  • And so today I did that.
  • 00:24:09.704 --> 00:24:11.973
  • And I want to tellyou that today,
  • 00:24:11.973 --> 00:24:13.975
  • when you're laying whereveryou're lay or wherever you are
  • 00:24:13.975 --> 00:24:16.144
  • watching this, if you needthat moment with the Lord,
  • 00:24:16.144 --> 00:24:19.347
  • cry out.
  • 00:24:19.347 --> 00:24:20.782
  • And I just want to take amoment right now and pray for us
  • 00:24:20.782 --> 00:24:22.651
  • because I think we all havethose moments and He would love
  • 00:24:22.651 --> 00:24:25.687
  • to be our Dad in this moment.
  • 00:24:25.687 --> 00:24:27.522
  • So let's pray together.
  • 00:24:27.522 --> 00:24:28.924
  • God, right now,wherever we are, Lord,
  • 00:24:28.924 --> 00:24:31.760
  • I pray that your loving Fatherarms would pick us up and
  • 00:24:31.760 --> 00:24:35.297
  • that you would hold our faces.
  • 00:24:35.297 --> 00:24:36.798
  • And you would say, youdon't have any idea
  • 00:24:36.798 --> 00:24:39.200
  • how beautiful you are, but I'llspend every day telling you
  • 00:24:39.200 --> 00:24:42.604
  • or not pray that today wewould feel the Father's arms
  • 00:24:42.604 --> 00:24:45.774
  • wrap around us and ourseasons and in our burdens.
  • 00:24:45.774 --> 00:24:48.910
  • And Lord, I just praythat we'd be reminded
  • 00:24:48.910 --> 00:24:50.879
  • of the truth that you loveus, that you are for us,
  • 00:24:50.879 --> 00:24:54.816
  • and that you are so excitedto call us your own.
  • 00:24:54.816 --> 00:24:58.553
  • And we dedicatethis time to you.
  • 00:24:58.553 --> 00:25:00.522
  • We dedicate our hearts toyou and all of our pain.
  • 00:25:00.522 --> 00:25:03.258
  • And we ask you toshow us your love
  • 00:25:03.258 --> 00:25:04.926
  • in a brand new waytoday, in Jesus name.
  • 00:25:04.926 --> 00:25:08.063
  • Amen.
  • 00:25:08.063 --> 00:25:09.197
  • - Amen and, amen.
  • 00:25:09.197 --> 00:25:11.333
  • We've been talking aboutGod being our advocate
  • 00:25:11.333 --> 00:25:14.836
  • that he is for us.
  • 00:25:14.836 --> 00:25:17.172
  • Y'all we wanna before you too.
  • 00:25:17.172 --> 00:25:19.140
  • We wanna be youradvocate with skin on,
  • 00:25:19.140 --> 00:25:22.010
  • so please connect with us onsocial media and let us know
  • 00:25:22.010 --> 00:25:25.213
  • how we can pray for you.
  • 00:25:25.213 --> 00:25:27.215
  • We pray for you weekly,
  • 00:25:27.215 --> 00:25:28.516
  • so please send inthose prayer requests.
  • 00:25:28.516 --> 00:25:31.052
  • Thank you so muchfor joining us today.
  • 00:25:31.052 --> 00:25:33.421
  • It is always adelight to be with you
  • 00:25:33.421 --> 00:25:35.890
  • and we can denounce thelies, spoken over our lives
  • 00:25:35.890 --> 00:25:39.728
  • and counter them withthe truth in God's work.
  • 00:25:39.728 --> 00:25:42.297
  • That's what we're gonnatalk about tomorrow.
  • 00:25:42.297 --> 00:25:43.798
  • We're gonna talk aboutinternalizing the compassion
  • 00:25:43.798 --> 00:25:47.335
  • of Jesus Christ and allowinghim to set us free, flat free.
  • 00:25:47.335 --> 00:25:52.340
  • We'll see you tomorrow.
  • 00:25:53.074 --> 00:25:53.842